|
|
|
|
fear n stress tt no one noe nor understand.. thurs.. a day tt i hope it will come soon n also a day tt i hope it wun ever come.. hope it will come soon is cox darling will be booking out on fri if nt wrong..but also useless cox i working afternoon on sat n morning on sun..but better den nth n hope it doesnt come is cox i got scan n also darling field camp starting on the 26th till 31th .. uncontactable for a wk.. scan.. whu noe wad may happen after tt.. may be i will b hospitalize again.. trying to tink it possive.. tryin to tink it might nt be.. but i hav history of it.. so higher risk i might hav it again.. i wish darling could acc me to the scan but i knew tt is no chance at all tt my wish will come true.. bcox i knew it is impossible.. totally impossible.. beem hospitalize for 2 day 1 night.. pain tt is so so pain tt even cannulation is nth to me.. i dun feel tt pain at all.. wishing darling was thr but i knew its impossible.. told myself i hav to b brave n go through all tis.. bring me for all those x ray n scan.. 2 extra 2 scan.. with doctor telling me suspect gall bladder stone.. renal prob.. n i told myself i hav to b brave.. de result show tt everyting normal.. n thurs i m goin another scan again.. in hospital.. afternoon i was left alone cox my parent r busy.. i told myself i hav to b brave.. so thr i go.. goin for de scan everyting alone.. being left alone... forcing myself to slp to kick those boredom away.. to prevent myself frm tinking..thurs... i m scared.. realli scared... crying bcox i jus cant kick tt fear away frm me..yest went NDP with von cf n darling... cox von gt 4 tix.. n they got tis balloon making tt i like.. n darling knew i like it.. so hw bluff us he is gg toilet.. n he went to take one for me n von.. n he knew i like purple.. so he went to alot of ppl in order to get a purple one for me.. so sweet of him..i knew he mayb irresposbile at time.. i noe ppl may dun like him.. mentally unstable.. n nw this.. i m tired of life.. fear n stress is all i feel.. been a sick baby since young.. went hospital 3 time to stay n duno hw many other times to c doc.. exam on tues.. haven study.. n yet everyting make me so hard to concentrate.. darling field camp for a wk.. 1wk cant contact at all.. lonely .. wondering can i survive? fearful.. fear nw is more den stress..
* oINkz * ---- Sunday, July 19, 2009 4:16 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
<-- WelComE tO yAng n 