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today is a sun n i m working afternoon.. i m so tired.. soso tired.. but i jus cant slp..wait up in the morning 7+ feeling so tense n afraid.. tried to smooth myself down.. breathing in n out.. dun tink of ting.. but i jus cant.. but i m realli tired.. tears jus drip down.. i realli hate tis feeling.. feeling like cutting myself again but i noe i cant.. so thr i go "jus imaging it..cutting myself.. tinking of blood drip.. hoping i will die.." haha but tt did succeed i doze off for awhile less than half an hr?i reali hate my work to the core.. i feeling like terminating my bond n pay tt sum of money.. i reali hate tt place.. i m jus like a fool to everyone.. no true friends i can make in thr.. everytime working i will jus look forward to off day to brightened myself up.. mitting darling or my friends.. nw.. darling gg army.. i hate work .. i hate off day bcox thrs no one i can mita anymore.. friends r busy.. thrs no day to motivate myself anymore.. i wanted to find someone to talk now.. to brighten me up.. buts thrs no one now.. no one.. i m nt normal anymor.. seriously i m nt.. i hate work.. i m scared of loneliness.. mon n fri off.. but fri.. i wasnt lookin forward to it at all.. i m realli nt feeling normal.. i duno hw long i can take it before i realli did silly ting.. i jus feel like closing myself in my room n cry non stop.. i noe i m a burden to u.. i realli try.. i realli m nt normal..thrs realli no one i can find now.. no one...............................................................................
* oINkz * ---- Saturday, June 13, 2009 6:30 PM
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<-- WelComE tO yAng n 