well.. bk to update!!

yest went to sentosa wif guan jialing n a guan friend's cf.. also name as pk!!.. wahahaha.. its nice knowing him.. he is someone easy to get along wif.. yup.. aww sad tt i cant get into water.. haha they enjoy so much... I WAN GO SENTOSA PLAY AGAIN.. hmm last time used to alway go wif jx haha.. nah i m nt emoing.. jus tt nw wan find someone acc me go also hard! hee.. thrfore i enjoy yest!!..

though the stupid rain keep comin on n off.. thanks to my dearest von mouth.. haha we been running in n out of shelter.. n after long we jus hack care n play in the rain.. wooooooooooooooo... hee.. din bring clothese onli bring bottom so i change my bottom cox sit on wet wet sand.. wahaha.. n i tink they got sick of me showing my pant inside my skirt.. haha all though is skirt.. so i say nope is a ku skirt.. n i lift my skirt n let them c even to guan friend!.. haha.. den they nw then -_________-" got shorts inside lo.. so nvm hehe..

so after tt von come n jl go off n we go eat char siew.. hmm i still prefer the KL one.. the one here nt tt nice n nt tt bad.. taste like normal char siew.. hee.. whu willing to drive me to KL to eat char siew? ..

den after tt went to a pub call crazy elephant to chill n drink.. haha i drink .. erm.. duno hw to spell.. den the pp ask me wan on the rock or wif mixture.. i tinkin on the rock better nt.. so.. put mixture n she say milk i say ok.. whu noe ended up I MAJIAM DRINKIN KU NI LO... hmmm.. waste money..

haha..

well.. hmm.. whether do or do not.. i guess.. its still depend on me wanting to step out haha.. cox of all de consquences i hav to consider .. yup.. n i m scared of the bad one..

wooolalalala~~.. gg buy pressie ltr..

wahahaha.. today is sun.. wake up nt feeling gd though..

hmmm...

tings could be the same like the past.. its a matter of hw u gg to accept tings.. n hw u gg to look at tings.. we nv tink of leaving u beind.. but its jus a matter of hw long u nid to accept tings..

after all those tings tt happen for the past few mths.. though thrs time cheryl break down.. but she learnt nt to avoid n run aaway frm things..

it alway gd to learn to accept ting.. n forgiv things.. although it used to b hurtful..

n doggy.. above is nt refering to u.. haha..

well..

kinda weird.. i feel misses.. but thr still alot of tings in my mind.. i m scared of being too rely again...haha..

starting work soon.. n i m gettin emo soon.. cox i feel stress again.. hai work.. plz let me go to a ward whr the staff r gd..

my mao jus bite my bolt ear again.. HW DARE U BITE MY BOLT.. u bite my bolt again i bite ur ear.. roarrr*.. but i still love my mao.. she is soooo adorable!!~~~~

sian gg out wif parent ltr.. dun feel like gg rather go out wif friend..but still i hav to go.. cox.. my dad is nagging me tt i alway go out wif friend instead of them haha... n gg out wif them alway awhile nia.. haha.. guess goin IMM wif them.. so boring.. cfm b bk hm at 6+..

Well back frm my class gathering which is super duper pathetic plz.. nice can say is class gathering.. haha.. cox onli 8 ppl turn up overall.. n 4 of them .. which is US... alway mit lo... dots.. if i noe earlier i will tink twice whether wan turn up nt haha.. i was so hoping to c them.. but turn up.. diaoooooooo..

well in the afternoon went to mit derrick awhile.. haha intially might b mitting jl they all.. but then my friend tell me the time after i went to slp.. haha.. soooooo slow... so went his hse watch saw 3.. ewwwww... but quite nice.. ^^... den online chat wif guan.. I HELP GUAN TO PINCH HIS FATS... i jus love pinching ppl fats.. opps...

so mit up wif my friend after tt for dinner.. pizza hut.. hha.. sian... YAO QI Y U DIN COME.. can entertain me ma... i miss ur entertaining... hahaz.. yao qi is my classmate whu i alway make fun of.. i jus love to ka jiao him.. sad tt he cant make it last min.. but nvm u said u gg to organise another one next wk wor... haha... better b!..

well.. feeling kinda moody nw.. alot of tings went through my head.. alot alot..

i was at the edges of stepping out.. nearly.. nearly.. but tings jus went through my head for tt few sec.. n i step bk again... i m scared.. i duno i can take it nt if i was to being hurt again.. i m so scared of being hurt again... cox tt prev one hurt me so much.. tt i realli find it hard to trust.. everyting tt a person say.. make me tink twice.. is tt wad u realli will do in future? .. will it be the same as hw tings was said it to me ..in future time?

nv used the words "alway" to me .. esp nv say "love u always" cox i realli dun blieve in this words.. nth is always.. u will nv noe wad will happen in the future.. i realli dun like this words.. nth is always.. unless it realli happen..

i m scared if i m to fall in love too much again.. i will be too rely on ppl.. n i realli dun wan.. cox the more rely i was.. the more hurt i will get if tings happen..

cheryl is feeling scared now.. cox she start to recall the past.. wad was done.. n those words tt was said to her.. hw hurtful it is.. she feel scared.. as she tink.. tears jus drip cox she is scared... she dun blame him.. nor love him anymore.. she jus wan everyting in peace..

its jus a matter of hw long.. n hw brave it is.. for me to step out of my phobia..

whether i love is one ting.. the most impt ting is.. hw much trust can i giv again? n hw? to overcome tt phobia in me...

hmm.. today.. went swimming wif my poly friend.. long time din swim le.. haha.. n guess wad.. after i swim finish n went to bath.. hai.. n i realise i m damn suay.. guan noe it >.< ..

n after swimming went to take uni.. whu noe got 2 pair of shoe n 3 pair of uniform.. hee.. take 2 pant suit n 1 dress.. n carry like hell can .. haha still early so me fad n xiuling cab down to bugis to slack at JCO.. weee.. den take train hm.. omg i nearly die when i reach hm.. LUCKILY I DIN WENT TO MIT JL N GUAN AT EAST COAST...

tmr class gathering.. kinda lookin forward to it cox i miss my class mate.. haha din c them for more dne half a yr le.. cox attachment.. haha i miss yao esp.. i miss bullying him!!!!...

yawn.. feeling tired~~~

today cheryl is feeling emo..

after so long.. her tears drip now again.. haha feeling scared all of a sudden.. i dun wan my illness to come bk..

stupid mother.. for wad hell sudd mention him sia.. ask me he got gf liao is it.. wad wad wad.. tink she noe it cox my sis tell her.. since u noe den stop asking la.. it make me so irritated.. cox tts is long ago the ting liao.. so jus stop asking..

duno she no brain or wad.. alway speak sensitive ting.. hai ... i dun love him anymore n i m happy wif my life nw.. i m happy wif the accompany of my friends.. so jus stop talkin n askin me bout his stuff.. he wif tt girl or nt .. it realli dun bother me.. cox i dun wanna care.. i m realli happy wif life nw..

cox of wad u mention.. make me tink of the past .. n i feel hurt.. i jus feel scared all of a sudd..

went to von hse today.. u all alway say me go out.. i dun even intend to go out.. but cox of my mum.. make me dun feel like stayin hm.. so thr i went.. n tt little moment wif them realli did make me laugh.. but tings return when i m alone..

haha.. like or dun like? does it matter nw? even if i like so wad ? cox i dun even dare to step out.. i m scared of being hurt.. i m scared the friendship will b worsen.. nt onli btw us.. but wif other friens among us.. i m scared tt my love isnt real..

i realli dun love him anymore.. so mum realli jus being so KPO.. i like my life this way nw.. n we r friends tt all okiee.. jus stop being so kpo.. n be more sensitive to ppl's feeling..

weeee... bk from KL trip on mon!!~~ haha. quite fun though gt some conflict..

don over at von hse the night b4.. n hurray... CHERYL DIN SLP AT ALL THE WHOLE NIGHT.. n i survive throughout the next day..

1st day at KL.. went shopping at chinatown.. n one more place is it? i dun realli rem .. de tings thr was cheap n of cox its fake goods wahahahaha...

n 2nd day.. we went over to KLCC.. wahhaa.. went up to c the scenery.. nth much though but its beautiful.. n von bring us to go eat this char siew rice.. omg i m missing the char siew alr.. haha.. i wanna go eat >.< ... but guess.. no chance le ba.. den at night went to shop at this duno wad place.. alot tings shop wor.. n guan buy lots of tings i guess.. hee

3rd day.. went up to genting.. haha .. enjoy the cold weathet thr.. n sit the cable car.. ohhh i love cable car.. n at the same time.. i scared of it haha.. N OH YA WENT TO SIT FERRIES WHEEL.. n derrrick scared like hell can!!.. his action make me laugh like hell throughout the whole ride..haha.. n after returning bk frm genting.. went to sing karaoke.. haha damn cheap.. sing from 0000 to 0400... n got 1 hr bufffect.. wif free flow of drink wif jus 27+ RM.. haha but i tink i doze off..

n last day slp till late.. went toe at breakfast cum lunch n return bk to sing..

sniff sniff i m missing the trip.. i wan go oversea!!. next target.. taiwan or hongkong!!.. but muz wait till 1 yr after i start work haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...

hee n heres some random photo of our day in KL.. lazy upload alot.. haha

and for today.. went to eski bar wif xiuling.. fad.. zhiwei.. n jy.. wee.. i love tt place.. so nice.. their drinks is nice too.. omg.. i jus simply love the place.. a nice place to chill out though.. hee hee...

alright.. i m still piss bout tt incident.. although its jus a small matter but inside me i m still feeling piss off by it.. seriously speaking.. thr is no way a person could talk like tt when she din slp at all for the 1st night.. n slp less den 5 hr the other 3 days.. while she is out playin the whole day.. so either its my natural voice.. or either its my phone gt prob or urs... seriously u dun hav to call me.. i dun relali play a damn bout it.. i m realli piss off.. cox u realli got no rights to say me.. i m nt ur gf or whuever anymore i m jus a friend.. once again i wun admit tt tis time is my fault.. cox seriously i m nt purposely doin tt.. ya we r still friends.. n hw close.. it depends on hw u treat me.. jus stop sayin tings tt piss me off.. guess its better if wan chat.. chat in msn or through real live..

haiz.. cheryl is getting slpy.. she is precisely dozing off for the past 2 days.. cox she is still soooooo tired after her KL trip.. time to go slp le.. night ppl...~~~~

wahahahaha.. cheryl has a fun fun day today!...

first went par toring wif guan.. chun n jinhong.. >.< ... haha.. sometime i jus find a miracle tt u can find such a close friend if jus 3 mth working tgt.. guess.. it take effort to make contact wif one another >.<

first.. went to play lan.. wad duno wad game forget le.. ok i admit i m a damn stupid idiot.. in game.. ok.. dun even noe hw to jump n control tt stupid movement or wadever.. but i guess we laugh all the way throughout the game.. cox me n guan r naturally cannot make it for tt game.. but i tink i m the worst. no.. is i m confirm the worst...

the went to play pool.. muahahaha.. den me n guan acc jinhong walk to sommerset den go lucky plaza change money.. den walk back to PS.. muahahaha.. r we very power!!.. yeah finally get to c guan friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

den mit up wif derrick n bump into von at PS.. haha.. so qiao... lalala~~. dun tink wai wai okie.. von.. den after me n derrick eat .. walk to UE square to collect his cheque.. den go clark quay slaCK.. WE WALK FRM PS TO THR OKIE!!.. muahahahha..

save alot of transpoer fare n walk alot today!! excercise n excercise... muahahaha.. n thanks to stupid bulldog.. scared the hell out of me two time can.. ITS SCARY OKIE!!!.. hump.. so scared i drop down.. ahhhhhhhhhh... muahahaha..

lalalalala...

tmr? go ah ma hse.. den its time to go to kl~~..

oh dear.. haven pack my bag... tmr morning den pack... hee.. ben lai say last night wan pack.. den say tonight wan pack.. den become tmr liao..

hee...

jus bk frm mitting wif my attachment friend..

din really mit long cox i tink i got nth much to chat wif them.. mayb my character dun realli clique wif them? haha.. so thr i come hm early..

n my sweet attachment friend wear to hk n buy me a micky mouse watch haha..

weee...

feeling trouble trouble.. is my feeling still thr... hmmmm... hai duno la

sian .. gg to kl liao.. but then i nt tt excited muahahaha cox i lazy to pack bag liao...

lalala...

cant wait to c my bolt bolt doggy... thanks derrick!! >.<

yawn..

cheryl had a fun but tiring day..

intially gg cycle wif my poly friend but RAIN!!.. hai so went to sing k box instead n i guess i m de one whu is holding the mike all along.. haha so weird they dun sing but wan go k box... haha

den mit up wif guan von jl n derrick to settle the insurance for our trip.. CANT WAIT TO GO.. but though feel kinda scary over thr muahahhaha...

yawn..~~

cheryl is jus scared to step one step out... cox she is afraid.. afraid of being hurt again... thr r times when she nearly.. but all the thoughts make her step bk..

she tot n tot.. tink n tink.. is my feeling realli real? guess it jus nid sometime to prove..

*ah chu* sniff sniff.. guess cheryl goin b sick alr.. sniff sniff. yawn~~

haha cheryl 2nd posting for the day.. wahahaha

went shoping wif my parent n bought 1 pair of shoe n a shirt.. but pay by mama.. thanks hee..

den went to mit derrick for dinner..

idiot him.. keep tricking me .. i jus cant differntiate the pronounciation of cement n semen.. omg.. which is which.. this 2 word keep repeating in my mind.. n stupid derrick keep sayin the opp.. n make me pronunce SEMEN .. so loud in public can.. idiot u hump...

u go hm n fix the floor la.. hump.. since u hav SEMEN.. hump hump hump

opssie... hope he dun come here tonight if nt i tmrr kana ticklet like hell..

ahh cheryl din slp well last night.. =(

she fall aslp at 10+.. wake up 1+.. ard 5 den slp back.. den 8+ wake up.. snifff sniff...

hai.. haha din slp well nt cox bad mood is cox i m TOO HUNGRY!!!~~.. but weird.. i wake up nt feeling hungry anymore..

still feeling trouble though.. cox of all the ting she has to worried.. hai.. but guess she shld leave everyting aside first n enjoy her trip for KL!!~~~...

she alr decide to go KL to eat n eat n eat.. till she grow fatfat.. cox she realli slim down alot.. CANNOT i nw onli 41kg lo.. somemore my height 163 nehh... haiii... my BMI onli 15+++ lo.. ehh but i duno de normal BMI hehe..

hai.. trouble.. wad should i do..?

which part is my real feeling? i m jus scared.. scared to get hurt again..

lalala~~.. 1 more mth + n i m gg to work!!!... duno i should look forward to it or dun look forward to it.. i like my job but i hate the stress... dealing wif a life n death.. hai.. n ppl expect u to noe everyting like u r a god.. i jus hate havin stress.. cox.. stress alway change me to another character.. n make me break down.. hmmm.. so should i look forward to job or dun? hai.. i dun wan my illness to b back...

oh n cheryl guess her illness is gone.. temporarily? haha thanks to her friendssssssssssssssssss... she noe they giv her alot of support.. thanks babe!!.. love u guyssssss soooo much...

yeah.. gg shopping wif my family ltr.. n mama say she will spon me money to buy tings.. yipee.. shopping n nt spending ur own money is reali someting tt make girls happy.. wahahhahahaha...

yawn~~~ slpy nehh O.O

cheryl 2nd posting within half an hr haha..

guess she should go n slp now.. though its onli 920pm..

she feel suffering.. she dun wan to tink of ting anymore..

she feel her life is realli so messed up now.. she is scared she fail again this time..

go off n slp le.. night ppl..

cheryl jus came hm from mitting up wif fad n xiuling..

not feeling kinda of good now.. n she feel herself quite useless.. everytime when she is very very piss off or pek chek.. she jus cry.. haha.. i guess i m useless..

haven had my dinner yet cox tot eatin wif someone n now its goin 9.. well guess nt eating le ba.. sot of lazy to find tings to eat at hm.. shld go n slp early tonight.. in case i m too hungry.. cox din eat much today.. morning eat curry puff.. afternoon eat half of the fried chicken.. n drink 1 chendol frm thai express n 1 drink frm TCC.. tts all my food for today...

after everyting tt happen today.. she decided maybe.. she should nt follow her feeling afterall.. she hope she wun fail this time.. n she told herself she must not fail.. she is realli nt feeling gd.. nt cox of piss off.. but someting else.. now she realli got a ans to her question mark..

she realli got the ans.. which make her decide.. its better to hav a close friend.. n she rather nt lose a friend ... this is her ans to her question mark.. which make her hav her decision now...

feeling suffer but she shld not follow her feeling.. she told herself she die also must nt fail.. clear ur mind offf now cheryl.. if nt u might lose a close friend if u follow ur heart...

well mit up wif fad n xiuling.. n went slacking ard.. at TCC.. intend to play pool but all full.. slack at tcc very long n watch fad eat her dinner? haha..

cheryl is crying.. but nt cox she is piss off.. she hope she can talk to someone .. perhap von? but she rather keep everyting to herself..

friends r realli impt..

cheryl 2nd posting for the day!!..



hai first day of wanting to go against my feeling fail.. useless me..



well today went out wif guan de.. go IT show find lao de.. find till wan die lo.. den finally we make a call to him.. wahaha... n manage to find him.. many ppl tot i wan buy lappie.. keep disturb me.. ask me dun shy.. den i finally say no.. i lookin n waiting for ppl.. den they CHEY ME..hw can u all chey me so loud haha..



den acc lao de eat his dinner.. n help him buy fries.. lan ren lo.. hai



tinking of hw the girl treat jh.. make me realli bu shuang.. hw can u treat my friend like tt? i hate ppl to treat my friend like tt.. u r realli too much man.. sayin ting so guo fen... i feel like giving tt girl 2 tight slap.. haiiii...

lao de (jinhong) eatin his rice.. c hw nice the curry drumstick is..

wahahha..

n cheryl decide to ask guan n tai gong to play pool if i gana PS...

oke cheryl tink through last night.. n she has decided... maybe she shld nt follow her feelings to go.. the percentage tt she is gg to follow her feeling is onli 15%.. bcox she tink tink through lots of ting...

perhap one of the reason is cox .. i find trusting real hard now?

i'm trying to let go everyting now.. all the feeling inside my heart.. i hav alr tink it through.. its better for me nt to..

feeling kinda down now..

well ltr gg IT show wif guan.. last min dun wan go SIM..

we go IT show is to find my dear jin hong.. haha.. lame right.. hope he is fine nw.. lao de.. dun b so sad.. tt girl isnt so gd afterall isnt she.. haha.. okok.. i say u r a gd guy.. cox tt girl is nt a gd girl.. haha.. girls tt r bad can alway find gd guy as their bf.. i jus duno y.. n girls whu r gd.. alway find a guy tt r nt tt gd.. this.. is my mindset..

cheryl alr decided tt.. if sat she realli gana ps by her poly friend.. either she gg find guan they all play mj.. or go find tai gong play pool... outing wif tai gong is nt tt bad afterall..

cheryl is realli angry now.. she hate ppl to lie to her.. n she rather ppl told her the truth.. haha.. n she wun trust promise..

being angry.. make my decision even stronger now.. i rather to suffer through wif my feelings..

haha.. tink guys r nt realli tt gd afterall.. ohh gt .. gt 1 gd one.. jinhong!!. girls.. anyone wan me intro?? hmm perhap i might join jl to become one hahhhaha..kiddin..

*fighting through wif my own feeling..*..
dun worry it gt nth to do wif jx..

feeling down n trouble..
shall find tings to let my feeling go away bit by bit..

cheryl 3rd posting for the day..

manage to find an ans to my tinking..

wahahaha.. back frm dating wif my tai gong..!!~~ 2nd time mitting him .. well.. i m so surprise tt we got alot of tings to chat.. cox its jus the 2 nd time cing him.. though the day is quit boring.. went to nokia n fix his hp.. den nid to wait till 530 to collect the hp.. so thr we loiter at suntec..

haha find a place to sit n eat.. so go long john n buy a meal to share.. c i so gd treat him eat lo... n lend him 100 buck as well.. hai i m broke.. c i so gd.. cox he gg no money eat den lend him wahahha.. anyway hav an enjoyable chit chat wif him though its boring.. n i find tt he is quite handsome.. jus too flirt wahaha.. so girlz i wun intro him to u all wahahaha... n we r planning 1 day to go play poollllllllllll..............

act.. cheryl is nt tt stupid at all.. she noe wad is gg on.. jus tt she is forcing herself to avoid it.. tryin to act dumb (if i din get the wrong idea haha).. she wanna follow her feeling for now.. but she duno whether the feeling now is true.. thr is alot of question.. alot of question mark inside her..

she is jus afraid.. afraid of hw tings might change if she were to follow... she is afraid of gettin hurt again..

she is tinking through all those ting when she is in the train bk hm.. n tears jus drip dwn.. she is totally lost.. she wanna follow her feeling .. but alot of tings jus pop up ..

hai .. love is giving me trouble..

guan.. u said i m so clever to noe hw u feeling btw u n _ _.. haha.. i can tell u all tat.. cox i m feeling it myself.. i m sayin it in an indirect form.. haha keep it to urself if u ever figure out wad i m tryin to say.. i will support u alway wif wadever decison u make =)

guess i nid some times to find all the ans to my question marks.. n to search for the real feeling within me..

yawn getting slpy.. when de hell tt MR C gg online.. yawn~~~~~~~c i so gd.. wait for u..

hai.. wad a weird dream i hav yest..

I DREAM TT ALL MY TEETH DROP AGAIN!!~~

ahlamak 3rd or 4th time i have the same dream.. haha can anyone tell me wad this dream mean?

ahhh i noe le.. my dream is asking me to brush my teeth more often wahahahaha...

lame...

heh heh.. ltr mitting my tai gong go par tor.. lalala~~.. but i m feeling kinda weird man..

shall update whr we go today when i came bk tonight wahaha..

cheryl is savng up money.. cox she notice she has spend damn lots of money alr..

lalala~~

hai..

i m afraid tt tings tt i m afraid is gg to happen...~~~~~

feeling confused...

haha.. cheryl is feeling confused now.. hmm.. haiiii..

lalala~~

today super bored can.. haiii

act mitting fad n xiuling to slack .. den my honey cramp.. cant come out >.< ... tio ps.. haiii

den act mitting dardar tmr for dinner.. tio ps.. haiiii.. haha...

2 days straight tio ps... haha

siannn

jl came my hse to play wif mao.. wahahahha.. den i go pray.. boring day right..

haiiii...

hurhur guess nw the onli one i love in my heart is mao mao.. she is jus a darling~~

welll.. ya guess everyting is my fault den. ya i m jus nt suit to b one..


woohooooo tmr mitting tai gong go out wahahahaha

wahaha.. cheryl 2nd posting for today!!~~..

n cheryl had an enjoyable n fun day today!!!...

first.. she went pinic wif her poly friend.. wahahha.. n she ate macdonald!!.. kinda funny right? eat mac.. haha.. cox i craving for it.. wahaha.. though my friend gt buy food.. wahahaha... n we chit chat thr.. fun fun!!~~.. shld find one day go cycle.. lalala~~..

den went to mit derrick for movie.. bloody valentine!!! the movie make me rush like hell can.. so long din run so much.. i nearly out of breath when i reach cineleisure lo.. too long din exercise le haha shall find dar go swim when she free.. i miss swimming wif her.. haha n tt movie is nt tt gross lo.. but i jus hate the sound effect..

stupid derrick keep scaring me n dun let me cover my hear.. somemore we 2 hit the head.. PAIN LEI...

n now i noe y he dun wan let me intro girl..!! cox he like............................................................. haha u wan me help u say out.. MR C!!!

lalala~~

cheryl mssing her umbrealla alr.. haha shld mit jx to get bk my umbrealla next wk b4 i go KL.. n i hope it wun rain till i get bk my umbrella.. if nt i will b a wet pig.. oink~~~

feeling trouble..

well.. hai.. my feeling is giving me trouble.. n i cant say out here.. cox sayin out here wll giv me more trouble.. so i shld control my feeling.. control control.. n let the real feeling kept inside my heart... tt will b the best one..

love..haiii.. haha dun worry i m nt emoing.. lalala~~.. realli nt.. i m in a happy stage nw lalala~~~

haha yest papa ask me " u wan to drive to amk?"
n i said "no i dun wan .. u drive"..
then my mama said " u dun wan drive.. den u go take liscence for wad.. waste money."
n i gave mama a best ans.." ya lo..i jus wan to waste money lo.. since papa ask me go take den i go la.. whu noe i will pass man"
n she got nth to say.. wahahaha...

if ppl noe me well shld noe the reason y i damn hate to drive.. yea babe!!.. i jus cant take tt tinkin off my mind.. is tt call phobia. nono shld nt b phobia.. is cheryl logic? haha i duno wad i talkin...

hai.. tinkin cant tings jus settle in peace.. i m nt the one avoiding... well.. hai...

gg pinic ltr looo... duno will rain nt.. lalala

yest slpless night again.. so sian lo.. slp at 1+ morning 7+ wake up c time sun bian sms MR C ask him wake up le ma.. den cant slp bk haha...

so wake up n bring my dog go walk.. my routine every morning = wake up..bring mao go walk..come bk online dne eat lunch.. haha

bolt bolt bolt~~~ ... hee...

lalalal~~

cheryl 2nd posting for the day..

well cheryl is freaking bored today.. hai emoing..

at hm nth to do..

so wake up at 8+ eat breakfast den 11+ eat lunch den 12+ went to slp den wake up.. bored like hell

den my parent went n buy mircrowave oven. got nth do so i went wif them ..

go out 2 hr come hm le..

hai freaking sian till emo...

haha hw m i gg to save up money to buy my bolt like tt.. 1 day alr buai tahan...

ahhhh.. nvm .. if cant buy den dun wan bring my bolt to KL hee.. come bk den slowly save $ n buy..

lalala~~

cheryl hope the day to KL faster come.. n cheryl hope the day at KL slowly pass.. wahahhaha

wahahaha.. cheryl is lookin sooo forward to her trip at KL wif her friends..

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.............................

n cheryl is tryin nt to spend so much money tis wk.. save up n buy her bolt~~~~

so tt she can bring it for her trip.. but i scared gana laugh at hee.. >.<

lalala~~~..

wondering tt stupid cart still thr nt hee..

so boring...

lalala~~~

MR C u better dun keep bully me

if nt i kick kick kick kick kick.. KICK EVERYWHR I CAN

wahahahahaha....

:D

wahahaha.. TODAY WENT N BOOK MY TICKET TO KL.. SO HAPPY CAN GO OVERSEA LEEE..

hee.. gg wif derrick .. von .. jl n guan!!

wahahaha.. but i tink i gonna gana bully like hell by derrick...

lalala~~ so happy can go oversea.. lookin so forward to it..

n after bookin our trip went k box wif derrick.. derrick i still tink u sing better when u sing seriously.. wahaha

i gonna laugh like hell today..

N AFTER TODAY!! our family for one new dog!

bull dog!! which is derrick tay han hui!! n i name it .. tamade!!

wahahaha

woof~~~~~~

cheryl sometimes is tinking.. love give lots of prob .. dun they? n i m so scared tt i m falling in love again... plz dun..

well.. today bring mao go to von hse n find kira.. one of my wish.. n guess wad? kira is sort of scared of mao mao.. haha guess my dog too fierce le.. roar*.. thanks jun xian for bring mao mao go..

anyway did hav an enjoyable day thr though the time is shop...

well n cheryl is also tinking.. human do change dun they? ... haha.. n they realli did change... i'm jus feeling so disappointed.. but well.. it is nt my business also .. isnt it..

n cheryl can tell u tt my love to him is really decreasing.. cox.. well.....................

i realli hate driving.. sometime i tell myself.. i muz take tt tinking off my mind.. i muz learn to drive in my dad car.. but well.. it wasnt successful.. cox after today... i realli hate it.. tt tinkin is so real to me.. well.. i jus wun drive.. no matter wad.. i die also wun drive.. jus take it as a waste of money to have a liscence...

cheryl is lookin forward to the trip to malaysia.. at the same time.. tt trip is giving me lots of trouble.. n thanks derrick n von for helping to settle some of the ting too..

malaysia.. here i comeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

well.. i m nt feeling emo.. jus kinda disappointed..

n i tell myself.. i shall change to the better...

lalala~~ cheryl having nightmare n she is nt feeling gd nw.. haii...

she is gg to mit guan n jh ltr but she still feel sian n moody.. well...

yest met up wif MR C n dar for dinner.. n dar went bk first cox she is tired.. so onli left me n MR C.. as usual i gana bully he is forever bullyin me..

n MR c is so crazy.. flooding my tag box i guess he gt nth better to do then .. i c hw u gg to surviv today at work..

cheryl jus wanna go oversea but seem like nid to find out so many tings.. kinda stress up alr hai... mr C.. come ka jio me.. n make me laugh ...

lalala~~.. i m still so tired.. din slp well at all..

cheryl feel tense n stress up nw even for jus a small outing.. guess she is nt n a suitable stage to organise ting nw in her situation.. she feel so stress up easily.. n when small prob come she cant even settle without stress.. guess cheryl is nt realli in a gd stage to organise ting.. cox she will break down i guess..

i jus wan go out play n relax n tink of nth else.. derrick the oversea u handle k? i tink i realli cant take it.. i trust u for nw hor..

cheryl has a slpless night yest.. haiii...

tryin to slp at 10+ gg 11.. n guess wad she cant slp.. so she called von n jia.. n chat will 12.. n thr she lie in her bed till 1+ she still cant slp. n everyone was slping !! even MR c!.. haha he went to slp at 9+.. den she cont lieing n she c its 2 am n she is still awake.. n guess wad.. she finally fall aslp at 3 3+.. n gues wad she wake up at 7+.. i tink i m realli some kind of superwomen..

i m tired but i jus cant slp.. wondering is it due to the side effect of the medicine.. hai.. one of the side effect is insomia.. finally eat 1 pill after so long.. maybe it gt effect on me wahahaha..

sian la gana PS by 3 ppl today haha.. dun wan jio ppl le.. ltr gana PS by 4 ppl even sian.. 3 enough le.. at night miting jia n derrick for dinner.. weird combination?

hopefully my dar dun PS me again if nt gana PS 4 time... haiyoooo.. wad a day today..

well cheryl is feelin better.. though she still get sad n disappointed over small ting.. but her mood is much much better nw

though she spend damn alot of money.. but she dun care as long as she is happy n keep herself occupied..

haha.. n she wanna thanks to all her friend... for being thr for her..! weee..

esp derrick wahaha.. thanks MR C!!

yawn .. slpy neh BUT I JUS CANT SLP.. TELL ME Y Y Y

cheryl 2nd posting for the day..

haha cheryl feel so ache after her badminton yest n guess wad!!.. today she met wif fad they all to play bball cox they r in semb..!!.. omg.. my bone is cracking le lo..

n guess wad. when cheryl go hm alone.. she lost her way in the HDB area in semb.. damn throw face can .. luckily she manage to dig her way out.. STUPID MR C LAUGH AT ME FOR LOSING MY WAY.. u also nt much better ok..

hehe.. den come hm teach nephew.. haiiii...

lalala~~

omg cheryl cant imagine wad she has jus told mr C.. haha..

cheryl is in gd mood recently..

cheryl wake up in the morning n feel tt her whole body ache like hell!!.. frm the badminton tt she play yest haha even her bkside ache sia.. today shall b a day cheryl stay at hm n rest n teach her nephew work.. burden...

though cheryl still have de feeling of being cheated.. feel regret n foolish of all the ting she has given but she starting to feel tt her love to him is slowly decreasing haha.. cox as i said... the one she love is the past him.. nt the one now.. to her .. he has alr change to someone.. whu is.. well i shouldnt say annymore.. lalala~~

cheryl is tinking about her bolt~~.. oh ya.. if u came here to c my blog.. nvm its ok u dun hav to buy me my bolt which u promise me to buy for me if i get well.. cox i rather it b frm someone else or i rather buy it myself.. =)

haha.. intend to buy on mon myself de lo.. but the shop din open.. duno is it stil the same cart nt.. if diff den i can no longer find my bolt... :'( .. sniff plz dun move away till i buy u bolt..~~~..

my oversea trip.. sniff sniff.. derrick u say de wor.. if cant find a date tt everyone can make it u still will acc me de wor.. haha u r such a great friend!!! MR C!!...

cheryl is still laughin over the conversation tt she had wif Mr C yest. hahaha...

ppl say.. love is happiness.. love make u feel blessful.. but to cheryl she feel tt love is harmful too.. love make ppl feel miserable.. love make ppl sad.. n now.. cheryl is tryin hard nt to let herself fall in love.. of cox she said tt cox thrs reason.. she find love so hard to trust now..

tink it through.. n cheryl decided to let go.. cox the one tt she love is the past him.. now.. to cheryl he has alr change.. change to a someone tt cheryl duno whu is he.. though cheryl will tink of the happy time tgt.. but its time she shld nt tink of him anymore.. haha..

well lets say wad cheryl do today.. went for badminton n mahjong haha.. play till my hand shivering... me so weak wahahah...

n yest went to eat lunch wif fad they all.. den last min mitting up wif derrick n von they all.. went for a movie n went to drink haha.. again!! but nt i suggest de is jialig wor.. she come join us after tt.. every ting so last min even de mitting up haha... suppose to mit tai gong act de lo yest night.. sry tai gong for PS u.. c "MR C" i so gd.. c u emo i PS my friend n acc u nehhh...

lalala~~ cheryl was laughing like hell now.. about the topic tt she jus chat wif derrick online wahahha... U NOE WAD I MEAN "MR C"

horhor~~~~~

cheryl is lookin forward to her malaysia trip wif derrick n von they all but guess she is gg to b disappointed cox jus cant find a date whr everyone can go.. guess the trip wasnt gg to b successfull..

n cheryl has been losing weight soooooooooooo pathetically.. from 44 or 45kg.. to now 41kg!!!.. jus weight at von hse today snifffffff... i dun wan to go udner 40.. its scary...

cheryl 3rd posting for the day..

she jus wan a place to say out her feeling... she tot this blog is one.. but now.. she no longer will post any entry anymore... frm now onward she will keep everyting .. all her feeling to herself..

no one even bother to listen to her patiently.. tryin to understand things tt she wanna said.. trying to figure out y she does tings.. the onli ppl whu realli listen to her patiently was xiu ling.. she is the onli one whu ask me wad realli happen n listen to me patiently.. she wun scold me .. she will jus listen ...

cheryl is at the edge of killing herself now.. but she is controlling ... she onli left 10% of tolerant.. she is scared tt tt 10% will b gone soon..

before any of u scold me.. tink for urself.. in the past u all also cut urself.. does tt mean i hav to giv all of u a tight slap!..

i have enough hurt from him.. stop adding on tings to my wound.. i hate it when ppl keep asking me go IMH.. I NOE I M SICK.. BUT BEFORE U SAY TINGS TINK OF PPL FEELING...

stop assuming tings .. nv bother to ask me wad happen n jus assume it cox of wad u r tinking..

let me tell u the real reason y i cut myself.. cheryl jus feel so hurt after tt sentence was said to her: " ur voice went right through my ear n shock me.. u said u will stop disturbing me.. but its still the same.".. fine.. since i m such a pest den i m jus finding ways to stop myself frm contacting ppl..

i m nt running away frm tings.. i even tried n face it.. but when tings was said to hurt me .. i jus feel so break down easily.. so STOP ASSUMING I M RUNNING AWAY FRM THINGS.. IF I M RUNNING AWAY DEN I WUN EVEN WANNA MIT HIM... i cut myself cox i wanna tell myself.. REM WAD R THE TINGS HE SAID TO U.. REM WAD R THE TINGS HE DONE TO U.. REM ALL THE WORDS TT HE SAID TO HURT U.. N HE FIND U A PEST SO STOP SMSING PPL... this is the onli way to stop myself frm contacting him.. i noe its stupid but wad other way i can find?

n to u.. fine.. if tts wad u r saying.. me.. seeking attention.. fine!!.. ur this sentence of words.. make me feel like killing myself more... u r alway right.. wad u assume is alway right too.. i m wrong.. wadever i did its all to seek attention..is tt okie? ..if it wasnt tt words u used to said me .. i wun start all this.. i noe i m a pest to u.. if u even bother to tink twice about the way u said tings to me.. or if u even bother to tink twice b4 u say things to me.. i wun b feeling like i m a pest .. i wun b forcing myself nt to sms u anymore...

i rem u once said bout my ex jie-fu: " he? such a lan guy" cox he like other girl cox he beat my sis.. den wad bout u .. u like other girl too isnt it? onli left wif u din beat me.. but u said tings to hurt me more.. esp when i m sick.. i find it even hard to control my emotion...

cheryl is at the edge of killing herself now... she feel like slashing herself more.. esp after wad he n she had said.. cheryl is tinking.. y nt i should jus try my luck.. to slash at my wrist n c whether i die..? if i dun den its too bad.. she is controlling herself nt to.. but she realli want..

if cheryl realli did tt.. she wanna say..
- derrick thanks for keeping me acc.. trying to make me laugh.. tryin to talk to me when i nid someone.. listening to me when i cry n find u.. even when u r slping.. or when u r busy working u nv fail to keep me accompany.. thanks for being such a darling... hope u find ur true love soon..
- von.. sry to make u disappointed.. cheryl realli try veri hard.. she alr told herself nt to hav anymore cut when u saw me yest.. but tings keep hurting me .. from wad the both of them said.. n thanks.. u r the onli one whu even bother to ask me wad happen after u noe tings.. though i nv say tings to u.. thanks...

derrick.. whr r u now? cheryl nid ur help.. she nid u to be wif her now.. she nid ur shoulder.. she nid ur crap.. she nid u to make her laugh now.. she nid u to b wif her now.. so she will survive till the night .. cox she is realli at the edge of killing herself.. this time rd cheryl wun fake to laugh anymore.. cox she cant laugh out... she wanna hug u n cry now.. she wanna ur crap to make her forget her idea of slashing herself.. but derrick is working now...

cheryl is still controlling herself.. nw she onli left wif tt 8%..

WeLcome!~
enJoy uR sTAy hEre

* chEryL
* 09/09/1988

*lub...
-> dar...
-> all mY fRiendsssssssss...
-> yAngyaNg n mEh mEh

*haTE...
-> lIar
-> bAcksTabbEr

*... mY fRiEnd tO b hAppy ...*
*... MysElF tO bE happy ...*
*... gT alOt $ bUy ting ...*
*... reSult gdgd ...*

...dAr...=D
...vOn...
...sI...
...hAlkAl...

*yAng chOng by yAng zHOng wEi*

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