Y R U SO CRUEL SO CRUEL TO DUMP ME WHEN I M FEELING LIKE TT..

i m feeling totally lost nw i'm scared to hav no one to rely on..

i wan to c a doc.. i wan to noe wads wrong wif me.. i wan ..

ur caring seems so fake to me..

i got someting to tell u cox i noe u will come here.. u have change.. change to a diff person.. someone whu become so self-center.. someone whu tink u r the best among ppl.. someone whu is over-confident.. (someone whu tink tt u r correct in everyting- i noe i m but u r too).. n nw someone whu is heartless n selfish.. i said tt nt cox hw u treat me.. but this is hw u hav change.. to a person i dun even noe whu.. u r nt like tt in the beginning n i'm sry if i make u change to tis way.. think through the time when we r still tgt.. wad u hav said bout our clique.. u hav jus change.. no longer the usual jx i noe.. i said i will hate u but its jus to let me forget.. i dun hate actually hoping for ur return is impossible.. if someone realli love me de ppl wll understand everthing i undergo.. find out more about wad the illness is like.. n one of the symptoms about anxiety disorder is to keep worry bout ting.. tts y i've been worryin all the while for those essential ting.. i noe tts one ting tt make u piss off..

i noe the real reason u leave me is cox somehw u found her tt is more attractive to u.. no or shld i say .. u wan all those freedom tt i din giv u.. u hate it when i alway ask u to acc me.. u hate it when i keep worrying thing here n thr.. u hate it when i worry for nth.. u hate it when even when there is ppl ard me i still wan for ur accompany cox i m jus feel more comfortable wif ur presence ard at tt time.. u hate it when i alway sms u n keep wanting ur reply asap keep calling u when u din reply.. u hate it when i keep throwing my temper at u.. n overtime the love has gone off.. n i noe tt isnt true love.. cox true love will make u stand by me when all this ting happen.. when u noe wad i suffering frm.. i noe i m a alien.. i dun even noe myself.. i dun blame u for dumping me after wad i hav treat u cox even i myself dun like myself.. being too reliable on u.. n i bet tts one ting u dun like too..

u wan to hav ur freedom.. esp nw when u gt ur driving liscence u wan to be able to drive at late night.. n dun hav someone to keep waiting for ur phone call n can piss off when u nv put her into the first place.. u wan a girl whu is like the past me.. when i haven step into poly.. someone whu let u do ting.. someone whu dun keep pestering u.. someone whu will care for u when u sick.. someone whu will fetch u offwork like hw i used to be like.. someone whu will try to cook for u even she duno hw like i used to b like.. i'm sry but my illness is causing me to change.. i din say this cox i wan u to return i noe its impossible n nt possible.. cox i noe nw u hate me.. or shld i say.. u feel so relieve nw to get me off u.. i will fight my illness.. i wan the own me when i m in sec sch..

or shld i say u dun even wanna hav a relationship nw to hav ur freedom..

ending here.. cing doc soon.. but well i hav alr confirm my diagnosis cox i'm a nurse n i study all those.. jus tt i duno hw to handle..

* oINkz * ---- Tuesday, February 03, 2009 11:04 PM




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