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writing blog nw become cheryl's way to calm herself down.. become cheryls way of communication herself.. n become cheryl way to say out her real feeling.. she dun care whu read it.. n whether anyone read it.. she jus feel like this is a place whr she can vent all her feeling on.. went to c huang jing luan today wif guan.. n well of cox it remind her of some unhappy ting.. but she told herself.. dun keep on tinkin.. if nt i will nv step put of the hole.. it remind her tt hw he used to acc her to c those idiol.. although he is nt willing to.. cox of the hot weather.. but he still go wif her.. n nw whenever cheryl c her choco fondue tt she got on her bday it make her upset.. bcox the reason y she wish for a choco fondue is cox she wanted to share wif him.. n she was sooo happy to recieve it on her bday.. but she become sick after tt.. n nw theres no change to share wif him any more.. she regretted of wad she has done.. she regretted to take him for granted.. nw she noe her mistake.. she noe tt its part of her fault to change him into this way.. cox her temper n all.. but some ting she dun wish too.. but its all the illness tt force her to.. but of cox smeting is her fault she noe.. ppl alway tell her.. "cheryl.. stop pushing the blame on yourselve.. its nt entirely your fault tt he leave u.. stop blaming urself.. u alway feel guilty.. tts nt a gd ting" .. well.. but nw she noe tt its her fault.. n of cox nt entirely.. but the whole ting that raise up tis prob is my temper.. n de way i do tings.. if i nv do tt.. den he wun change to someone whu is so heartless? .. well no point of regreting nw.. cox.. nth can save it back.. well.. nt everytime theres a miracle isnt it..n sry for making u piss off tis afternoon.. i realli duno wad to do.. si dun realli like me to msg u.. but sometime after msging u i feel better.. i was realli in a deliema.. (duno hw to spell ..hee).. duno sms u or dun sms u in case si angry.. n WAIT .. i mean after msging u i feel better doesnt mean i still hav the hope u will come bk.. in case misunderstanding happen.. i noe hoping for ur return is impossible.. unless miracle happen.. but miracle dun usually happen haha.. WAIT..i say this nt cox i hoping.. hope is hope facing the reality is facing the reality.. hmm.. cheam...well.. cheryl keep on tinking about the motivation tt realli strive her on.. to become better.. but she duno she can use wad motivation.. haii... hmmm... anyone wan to spon her present? so tt she got the motivation to cure her illness faster..? haha cheryl jus love present.. well but i gues none will b so generoous so for nw.. the motivation to strive her is .. cox of her friend.. she will get better.. but of cox cheryl will still break dwn sometime.. when she is feeling scared n lost all of a sudden.. when she gt nth to do.. n when alone.. cox of her stupid illness but she is realli hard to control.. she become esp scared when her mind wonder ard.. n it usually happen when she is aloe.. or she is feeling damn damn damn bored.. cheryl told herself nw tt she muz overcome her illness.. n muz nt be so stubbon anymore.. but she cant promise hw long she take to overcome.. cox the more she force herself de more stress she is..n ppl.. dun b like me regret.. (n dun b like derrick) ..regret when tings happen.. haha jus add his name for fun.. well i duno y i m in happier mood nw.. guess i m naturally in a better mood at night.. but well i noe tmr morning i will wake up wif fear.. cox duno y .. i alway jump up frm my slp wif fright.. well.. cheryl duno y everytime she c food she feel like puking.. jus dun understand y even though she is hungry.. the sight of food realli make her puke.. she is so scared of cing food.. but she promised tt she will eat.. but of cox nt alot.. she will try little by little..cheryl jus hate her medication.. though it make her calm dwn more easy.. but it somehw make her sooo slpy.. wanna vomit.. stomach discomfort n diarrhoea!... but neverthelss cheryl still go out.. cox she is scared being at hm worsen her condition..hai n cheryl realli tinking.. m i realli crazy.. sometime i m sooo happy n sometime i feel so depress.. i like have double character sia..n when i m very depress i ink of all sort of ting..n realli realli verui sorry to u.. for wad i done in the afternoon..
* oINkz * ---- Friday, February 06, 2009 5:32 AM
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<-- WelComE tO yAng n 