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once again on cheryl's 2nd day of battle.. she lost to be strong.. she hate to wake up.. facing a new day so diff.. cheryl crying now.. no one to talk to her.. derrick working.. si in sch.. cheryl missing the day tt she used to have.. she still plan to go sentosa when her attachment end.. she still plan to take mao on his car to find kira.. but all this plan cant b make nw.. i hate to c mao now.. i m nt happy to c her when i'm hm like used to b i'm din miss her when i m nt hm like i used to be.. al thanks to all the stress she hav in her poly.. no one actually know my level of stress.. u all shld know when u become a nurse.. i noe i change alot my temper.. i do tt cox i m jus scared of being alone.. scared no one will care for me.. but whu will ever noe my real feeling.. he used to say"dun worry i m alway here for u.. i wun dun wan u" all those r jus lies.. rem when we were jus tgt 3mth.. i said i wanted to break off his r/ship but still i giv him chance .. but nw no chance were given to me.. ppl keep telling me.. cheryl.. y r u so stupid.. he dun love u anymore.. he dun wan u anymore.. y r u keep thinking.. n he is so jian ci not to return.. y r u still so stupid.. cheryl is stupid.. she is never clever.. she is blur.. n being a blur nurse make her more stress.. she dun wan to be blur.. but she is jus blur.. getting scolded almost for all her attachment.. but whu noes? derrick told me.. he seem normal at work... din mention anyting bout u.. of cox.. he dun even love me.. y still bother bout me.. cheryl duno where to vent her feeling at .. n guess this blog is the onli place she can put her feeling in.. she still wan a hug frm him when she cry.. but she noe its impossible.. even if he return.. which 250% wun.. she told herself she wun accept anymore.. she hate being in relationhip.. she rather be a ni ku for the rest of her live.. she wanted to find him.. find him ask me to read my blog.. hoping for his return but i noe he wun.. all those r jus stupid dreams of me.. cheryl is stupid.. she is weak.. she is scared of lonliness.. sometime when she c wall she feel like banging her head to forget.. sometime when she taking train she feel like jumping dwn the track.. she is scared of lonliness.. she is scared to b at hm.. cing her dog.. bringing her memory.. hw she could forget him wif all this ting ard.. derrick realli dun mention his name or update me anyting.. i dun wan hear.. i can onli avoid.. sometime i tinkin shld i jus face him straight to force myself forget or should i jus cont to avoid n miss him? i noe i will break down cing him.. cheryl u musnt miss him.. ppl alr dun wan u.. cheryl been crying everyday.. everyday morning.. every aftrernoon every night.. cheryl u r stupid.. there is no chance given to u alr.. so u dun hope for one.. no matter hw u ask him.. thr is still no chance no love means no love.. cheryl u r stupid..
* oINkz * ---- Sunday, February 01, 2009 4:55 PM
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<-- WelComE tO yAng n 