hmm.. guess this blog is somewhr tt i throw my feeling on..
hw shld i start.. hmm.. yest went to acc xiuling for body check up.. after tt loiter ard.. den late afternoon went to mit von.. haha guess after genting.. i've been curving for alcohol.. so thr me n von go to a longue..( duno hw to spell ) or a bar.. or a pub.. n bought a cocktail wif volka .. call snowball.. nice nehhh.. haha n onl cost 10.50!!..
n then derrick came to join us ard 8+ 9.. n went to a pub.. haha guess cheryl drink too fast.. 3 glass of chivas within an hr.. haha was abit gong..
nw cheryl is curving for drinkin again.. tink she is addicted.. n part of the reason is .. she is happy when she is drinkn n she din tink so much..
as for today.. cheryl was moody.. haha.. cox of a stupid dream she hav last nite? .. cheryl is feeling unstable sometime.. some day she is perfectly fine.. but someday she jus feel so down.. down to bottom.. she alway tell herself dun tink so much.. but sometime thoughts jus came to her when she is alone..
slpt at 12 last night n wake up at 3.. frm a shock.. n even when i slp bk.. i cont dreaming the same dream.. got so tu lan i jus dun wan to slp.. n so nw cheryl is feeling so freakin tired..
haha..
cheryl jus cant help tinkin.. sometime these thoughts jus come to her mind.. haha.. von said.. in a relationship trust is the most impt ting.. haha.. nw to me is bull shit!.. the more trust u put in.. the more hurt u r when tings go the other way round.. when u noe u r being betray.. its even hurtful.. cheryl will nv put 100% trust again in any relationship.. no matter hw nice the other guy is.. hw decent he is.. she nv will.. she used to put 101% trust.. without any suspicion.. but wad she get? hurt.. till nw.. sometime she will hav the sudd feeling of hurt.. n she will feel like crying..
jus like today.. she was moody the whole day.. she hate bugis.. she feel like crying sometime.. when sometime she said she is tired.. n close her eyes.. she is jus tryin to hold her tears.. but whu noe when she is alone her tears drip down again.. wonderin wads wrong wi cheryl today.. haha.. cried b4 mitting derrick today.. but hwever he did make me laugh for tt 1 or 2 hr.. thanks 16mm .. haha but when i gg hm on myself again.. tears jus drip down..
n whenever i feel hurt.. i feel hatred i will tell myself.. cheryl it isnt his fault totally u r part of it at fault too.. cheryl is feeling nth but hurt..
guess cheryl is feeling numb today.. as in.. she is nt scared of anyting.. in the past she is scared of taking blood.. but nw.. she can jus start at the needle poking in.. n taking out when she is takng blood.. she dun feel any pain.. anyting at all.. guess.. nth is more hurt..
n guess wad ppl.. i lost weight ever since tt day haha .. i din noe i lost.. cox i m alr very skinny.. drop frm 44kg or 45kg to 42kg.. omg.. n de doc tot i got anorexic.. irritating.. but luckily my appeittie got ABIT better when i came bk frm genting..
went to suan min for fun.. cox fad wanna go for palm reading.. so thr i saw this poker card ting whu look so interesting.. n so i went in.. n ask for love.. n u noe wad de suan ming shi say? haha..either u r single.. or jus broken off.. i got shock neh when he said tt.. n he said.. ur bf is being snatch away by other girl.. den i was like.. hmm.. half accurate.. haha n he said within this 3 to 6mth i will nv find a partner.. n even if i find.. he isnt my true love.. haha.. plz.. i dun even intend to find one for the time being.. so it doesnt realli matter.. n plus.. i dun realli hav much trust in ppl nw..
haha derrick sudd remind me of the bolt i wan.. aiya wan is wan also no money buy.. n i dun aim for tt someone to buy for me also.. nvm .. i go hug mao mao.. bolt~~~..
guess cheryl is getting slpy.. as in evry very slpy.. she doze off everywhr even when her friend is havin her palm reading..
oh ya ppl.. guess cheryl is gg MIA on thurs.. cox she noe her mind will wonder off again.. she will b moody for the whole day .. she alr decided to lock herself at hm.. cox she is afraid to drip her tear in fron of ppl.. thurs.. a day for me to enclosed myself..
ending here.. go slp le . eye closing...
duno y.. cheryl jus hate drivin.. tink is her tinkin tt affect her.. she told herself she wun drive at all unless thrs a nid.. she find driving scary.. she find driving evil.. she jus cant help nt to tink in this way..
feeling hurt~~ for today.. (hw to control my thoughts..haiii)
* oINkz * ---- Tuesday, February 24, 2009 7:14 AM
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