firstly.. wanna say the entry i wanna u to c is the previous one.. nt this..
been to c a doc.. n he say he suspect i m having anxiety disorder also or mostly is anxiety disorder.. n he giv me a medicine 'fluoxetine'..read through the medication n i realise it had some or quite alot of serious side effect..better nt to take it if i can control..wad worst the medication cant be stop abruptly hai..eat got side effect dun eat can become worst.. wth.. hai the doc wanna refer me to a psychiatrist somemore.. either at IMH or private hospital.. but i told him can i jus eat the medication 1st cox i afraid i will leave a data base there n will affect my career..
i m scared.. ppl plz make me make me overcome this.. i realli dun wan to c a psychiatrist.. i nid ppl company i cant be alone my mind will wonder but ppl r too busy.. busy wif their work.. n thanks to u for leaving me alone nw.. making my illness worst.. si gg start work le.. if i realli nid to go c a psychiatrist whu can acc me? everyone is busy.. i dun wan my parent to noe.. i m scared.. very scared.. whu understand my feeling now..? whu understand the fear i m having.. i nid ppl but whu can i find... ppl r busy.. u left me alone .. nt i wanna rely on ppl but i realli cant survive it alone.. nw.. whenever i m alone i will tink of the past.. my dog bring me memory.. the first step is to make myself happy i dun even noe how.. i feel so tense up now my heart is pumping very fast.. like wad the web have said..
ppl alway tell me.. find ppl go out... dun stay at hm u will imagine ting.. but whu.. whu can acc me out.. whu can make me dun imagine ting.. when si start work i will b all alone again.. everyone is busy.. i wan work but theres no work.. i m realli scared.. but whu can understand me.. whu noe my fear.. whu can help me.. even if i go psychiatrist they will say make urself happy.. but hw to b happen wif all this ting tt happen.. to c a dog.. to c a rm .. to c a hse tt make me sad.. cheryl is realli scared ..scared tt she cant take it n commit sucide.. she is scared whu noe her fear? she dun wan to commit sucide but she is scared all the stupid imagination will make her to do all this..
when she c food nw she feel like vomiting.. she totaly dun wan eat but she still hav to force herself swallow dwn all this.. cox of her parent ard..
she duno where to say her feeling out so she jus write here.. she is scared.. this illness is realli driving her crazy she is gg to collapse soon.. she shld hav seen a doc when they r still tgt at least at tt time he can help her overcome this.. but nw she has no one.. she is scared.. whu understand my fear.. hw afraid i m..
been reading through bout anxiety disorder.. n i found out this which is so right to hw i feeling..
Anxiety disorder is a blanket term covering several different forms of abnormal, pathological anxieties,
fears, and
phobias. (persistent or irrational fear). Anxiety disorders are frequently accompanied by physiological symptoms that may lead to
fatigue or even
exhaustion.
Anxiety disorders are often debilitating
chronic conditions, which can be present from an early age or begin suddenly after a
triggering event. They are prone to flare up at times of high
stress.
Anxiety can be accompanied by
headache (which i have long ago),
sweating,
muscle spasms,
palpitations(which i have it), and
hypertension.
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/anxiety-disorders/complete-publication.shtml.. a website with more info .. under generalized anxiety disorder.. if ppl noe me well i tink u will realise i hav all of them.. i m scared.. this illness is bringing me fear.. i feel like i m a alien nw so diff frm other .. i bet no one will love me anymore wif my prob.. ppl tense to be scared of crazy ppl arent they?
whu can help me i noe i muz help myself but i hate my hse now i hate my dog.. everyting bring memory for me .. if ting isnt like tt .. i tink i will be able to overcome it more.. but got no use to regretting..
whu noe my fear whu noe hw scared i m.. whu noe my feeling? whu noe hw this illness bring m suffer.. i jus feel like banging de wall making me forget every unhappy ting..
i dun wan let my family noe cox they r nt understable.. if ppl noe my family well n i noe u do..
cheryl is scared.. outside bring her memory making her tense up n start imaging ting.. even at hm also.. hw hw HOW CAN CHERYL SURVIVE!!!!!!.. tts y cheryl rather go derrick hse.. cox tts de place whr there is no memory.. no memory at all..
* oINkz * ---- Wednesday, February 04, 2009 3:19 AM
<-- WelComE tO yAng n 