|
|
|
|
cheryl wake up n start to tink about those happen moment in the past again.. but she dun wan his return.. she started to hate him.. i noe u will say i m being unreasonable n stubbon or wad.. but den cheryl told herself she musnt hate.. cheryl regretted tt when they were jus 3mth tgt.. cheryl wanted to break up.. cox she feel neglected n doesnt realli love.. but she was so soft hearted to c him cry .. so she agree to patch bk.. n as yr grow.. the love grow.. well.. derrick told me he nt tt bad either.. ya i noe he wasnt.. but.. well.. i duno.. he sort of change to a selfish ppl.. without understanding.. he started to b more self-centered.. more. well.. this is wad i been feeling as yr grow.. well sry to say tt.. but i duno is it my fault to make him change.. but i shldnt keep blaming myself in order nt to get my illness worst.. i got 3 diff reason tt was given to me.. 1st time cox he love another girl dun wan lose the chance..2nd cox of my temper.. 3rd cox he hav found wad he wan.. which i duno wad is it.. HAHA ARENT I STUPID DUNO WHICH IS THE REAL ONE!.. but well i gg c doc ltr so dun worry k? i used to avoid n feel like sms him but nw..! i m dun even wan to find him.. used to tell me realli love me.. but then love should be understanding.. acc me gg through all this i i m suffering.. but well it doesnt matter nw... though i still tink of thing in the past.. cheryl nw is gg to let go.. i used to say in my prev blog.. in cheryl's logic.. there is no such ting as lover cannot become friends... but wad happen yest make it seem like impossible.. i noe u shouted at me to make me giv up.. but i realli dun like it when u shout at me to c a doctor.. i feel like an alien.. n i feel like u r telin me its my fault for havin this illness.. i duno is it wad u tryin to say.. derrick told me to find a better guy.. but then i telll myself i wun anymore.. gd guy r hard to find.. ya so... maybe i will find a girl? haha... verna.. m i gg to become like u too? nw i understand y i care so much for u when u wasnt ard.. when u feel sick.. cox i noe hw u suffer.. ya.. i understand... no one understand hw torture is it unless they undergo it.. the kind of feeling lost n scared the kind of doin ting when u duno de kind tt u cry w/o reason.. i reali understand u nw verna.. y u used to say i dun care hw much i hav for my pay.. but de most impt ting is it make me happy.. i understand all this nw.. but i arent lucky like u to hav someting happy.. haha.. instead of havin happy.. i hav someting tt make me sad.. n i nid to handle nt onli the prob i hav ever since poly but also.. hw to handle myself of the breakup.. esp all the ting i given.. i hav both to handle nw.. can cheryl do it? jus msg verna to ask her .. cox i tink she is the most suitable ppl to find.. hope she understand me.. gg driving nw.. well i realli cant concentrate n i havin fear of drivng.. n it cause me to nearly langka 5 time.. hai today gg circuit worst.. more memory..
* oINkz * ---- Tuesday, February 03, 2009 4:41 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
<-- WelComE tO yAng n 