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cheryl's 2nd posting for the day..she hope no one come n c her blog.. cox this is the onli place whr she can post all her feeling truthfully.. she can say hw she is feeling out.. she jus wan ppl to communicate peacfully n nt make her worst.. cheryl is feeling damn unstable this few days.. she feel crazy.. cheryl feel so crazy today.. she feel like she is some kind of crazy women tt shld go to IMH.. she feel so crazy.. since she come bk frm genting she hasnt been eating her medicine.. n nw.. even a small ting make her broke down n hurt.. her mind has been generating lots of thoughts today.. she cant control.. she is gg crazy.. some day she feel perfectly okie.. some day she feel worst of all.. ppl say.. dun worry i will b thr for u.. ppl say.. i care for u.. but whu realli care.. of all the ppl whu said tt..CHERYL NOE WHU CARES FOR HER..!!.. derrick is one.. von.. jialing.. si.. guan.. my poly friend esp xiuling.. they r the one whu truely care for me.. i noe tt i m jus some fucking bitch whu keep pestering u like a pest.. care.. ur care is jus bull shit!!!.. wad u said yest stuck right through my heart.. hurt me so much n yet tts wad u said.. though its jus one small ting.. but cheryl jus dont know y .. she feel so worst.. its realli a small ting...but perhap cheryl wasnt feeling stable at all this few days.. tt y it make her feel worst.. cheryl is nt ok today.. mention him n kinki totally make me break down.. CHERYL JUS HATE THE BOTH OF THEM TODAY.. SHE DUN WAN TO HEAR THEIR NAME.. ppl havin bbq.. ppl helping each other.. wad got to do wif u cheryl.. its none of ur business.. derrick show me a sms tt she send to him yest which he tink tt it will make me feel better.. well if its the normal day me.. it will make me feel better but today the me.. i jus tt the sms is jus so fake.. so so fake.. cheryl nw feel tt the sms is so fake.. she.. showing her concern over me? ITS DAMN FAKE!!!.. cheryl is losing control of herself right now.. "how is she now? still cryin?? its not worth crying over such a guy".. ya.. but frm wad i c she is doin.. it doesnt make me feel quite so.. concern.. ALL BULLSHIT.. CHERYL JUS FIND TRUSTING SO HARD NOW.. SHE DUN TRUST ANYTING .. ANYMORE PPL... cheryl tot tt her illness is gone.. or its better after she come bk frm genting.. but it doesnt.. well maybe it did for a few days.. but yest.. cheryl broke down.. damn down... she is tinkin since she is jus a pest she might as well die.. be gone frm the world.. she has a strong desire to die.. she realli isnt ok.. she tried to hurt herself.. she tot the pain will make her desire to die go away.. but it didnt.. she dont feel the pain at all.. maybe it doesnt hurt as much as her heart? she dont know hw many hrs or hw long more she can control herself.. ppl jus bring cheryl go n c doc.. she cant control herself these few days.. she jus feel like crying.. she get hurt so easily.. even jus a useless ting... she is tinkin alot today.. she is imagining alot today.. everyting tt she is tinking..everyting tt she is imagine make her feel even hurt.. or jus bring her go out of singapore.. derrick.. u said u wan bring me go KL.. go phillipine.. whereever also can ... i dun care got whu.. even if its onli me n u.. i jus wan go out of singapore.. i dun care hw much.. i dun mind helpin u pay.. jus bring me out of singapore... cheryl is realli losing control... the illness is driving me crazy... or maybe its my emotion.. n nt my illness?
thanks derrick for callin me today.. but it jus didnt make me feel better.. i duno y.. maybe cox my thoughts drive me so crazy.. cheryl jus hope tt thr is someone by her side nw..to let her cry .. to lend her a shoulder..
cheryl hate the 2 of them for today.. she hate her more.. she feeling tt she is just so fake.. cheryl jus duno y she feel this way..
cheryl is jus a pest.. a fucking idiot pest..
tis is jus hw.. she is feeling.................. for today.. might b.. few day ltr.. she will b better? if she is still alive..
stupid illness go away..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dun b affected by my blog.. she realli wan her friends to all communicate peacefully.. cheryl guess she is damn unstable this few days n wad he said make her feel worst.. n wad she hear..through the phone wif derrick today.. the bkground sound.. everyting today.. cheryl tots .. imagination.. kinki's fakeness of care..(or maybe real care?).. make her broke down
cheryl is curving for drinks.. she is tinking whether she shld sneak out of her hse alone tonight when all her parents r aslp.. so tt she can go n drink.. haha she feel so crazy..
* oINkz * ---- Thursday, February 26, 2009 3:26 AM
<-- WelComE tO yAng n 