Si Meh and his house

alot of ting happen today.. n i cfm myself to have anxiety disorder.. i say my symptom out to xiu ling n she told me tt if it is nt handle properly.. i will get depression n i now i m on the way to get it..

ever since poly life i hav been havin this problem i noe..

i also dun wan it de.. y r u blaming me? i rather i dun hav them if i can control.. u dun hav to shout at me it hurt me.. i noe i have been keepin fan u.. sry.. but u dun hav to blame me cox its nt someting i wan n can control.. i rather hav support than blame.. i jus feel so hurt when u shouted at me to c doc.. i noe i gt prob.. i m jus afraid to face it.. but nw even i m scared i stll hav to..

i m scared to c a doc..

si.. i tink u r right.. a guy doesnt mature till 30 or 40.. since he dun understand me.. even when since poly i've been having it..n i noe u find me a burden whenever i cry even when nth.. sayin sry to u here.. but someting i do i cant even control.. unless after i do den i noe i m wrong.. sry.. if had a choice i also dun wan them..

n thanks derrick for ur understanding.. i noe i hav been troubling u recently.. sry.. n thanks for wad u have said.. it make me feel tt i m nt an alien cox of my prob.. n it doesnt make me feel like ppl r blaming me.. ur sentence realli make me dun feel like a alien.. " even if u having tt kind of problem. it can be cured fully. so why worried.. if u scared being alone.. u can come stay my hse.. at most i slp in the sofa.. realli" ..

von i noe if u read through this u will be tinking bout someting.. I WONT FALL IN LOVE WIF HIM OK!!. so dun worry.. i told myself i wun ever gg to step into relationship anymore tt soon cox i regretted of some tings ya..

n oh ya ppl.. if u r close to me go read more about aniety disorder or mood disorder ya.. the sign n symptom n wad the ppl will do.. n tell me straight in my face if i m doin someting tt is nt suppose to .. or shld i say tell me straight if i m losing control of myself again.. dun worry u will hurt me or wad.. but well plz dun jus shout at me to c doc.. it does hurt me like tt.. jus say in a nicer way ..

si thanks for ur help to find out more about the ting..but i myself started to suspect wad i havin after the day i break up wif him.. bcox the symptoms r much more obvious n worst.. n oh ya wad a time to break up somemore holi haiii...even hard to overcome..

thanks xiuling for all tt ting u have told me.. n a example of urself.. i now den noe i nt de onli ppl having this prob.. well i alr said nurse is stressful.. n after my bond i gg study pyschology cox NV WILL I CONT TO BECOME A NURSE IF ITS NT HAPPY FOR ME!.. find one day admit urself to hospital n observe everyting the nurse is doin n u will noe..

n to u.. if u ever come here... i nv blame u for all the ting.. for leaving me.. either is cox u like another girl.. or u found wad u wan.. or u cant stand my temper.. i noe things tt causes all tis over the time is cox of wad i hav done.. cant wait for ur reply everytime i msg u.. crying n seeking for ur console each time tt bring u burden.. wanting u to acc me everytime i m alone or wad so ever.. i wanted to say sry to u.. but all this is cox of my prob n i will go c a doc.. no nid for u to shout at me again.. n thanks for telling me all those reason y u dun wan me.. i starting to hate u.. but i dun wan.. cox its nt totally ur fault but some is ur fault well duno wad i talkin..
i wun blame u..

well shall end here.. once again.. thanks to si derrick xiuling n fad.. i beginning to noe more n starting to si xin le.. cox.. if i realli wan .. i wan a guy tt is understanding.. whu wun leave me cox of all this.. n a guy whu is nt scared of trouble (like wad si say)

* oINkz * ---- Tuesday, February 03, 2009 5:33 AM