suddenly feel like writing a story.. n here the story go:
4 yr ago.. there was this girl.. a cheerful friendly n happy-go-lucky girl.. it was then when sec school end she started her poly life.. she regreted her choosing of course.. her choosing of bond..
during her polylife she has difficulty coping her studies.. with all the stress n problem coming up in the 1st yr n sem of her exam.. 2 ppl quarreling over her.. friendship of tt 2 ppl nearly break.. she dont want that to happen n so she neglected her studies being unable to concentrate.. which although all her module pass but her GPA is jus 1.7 .. imagine hw poor it is..
over the yrs with the stress accumulated.. she change a diff person.. someone who is short-temper.. someone who is over-anxious.. someone whu lost her patient n temper easily.. without knowing y.. she tried to change but it jus come back..
this cause her to lost her guy one the 2nd day of chinese new yr..wif one sentence that simply hurt her right deep inside..(she is......., n i dont wan.....).. however she know tt her temper part of her reason but the reason behind is not only this.. one mth or shld say 1 mth plus ago.. this guy fallen with another girl.. giving her christmas card with love.. driving her hm (guess is the 1st ppl he drive when he got his liscence).. all this without the girl knowing though they r still tgt..
n this girl find herself being so stupid.. to keep begging for his return even she noe de other reason.. no matter hw de ans is no.. she still beg.. she still miss.. arent she stupid?
nw whenever the girl tink bk to christmas time.. the card tt the de guy give.. her bday celebration.. esp the bag tt she got all seem so fake.. the girl was soo stupid.. even when her friend sudden concern over her make her feel weird.. but she din think so much.. even when 3 wk ago b4 breakup.. the distance tt she feel btw them doesnt even make her suspicious.. she din tink much.. even when tt guy say driving wif his boy friend.. arent she so stupid to be so native..
intially the girl told herself she muz hate him.. in order to forget.. she told herself she reali muz hate him.. but after wad her friend told her tt hate make u even harder to forget.. she told herself she shld listen to her friend n dun hate tt guy..
however sometime the girl have the urge to msg the guy again.. whenever she hav this urge she realli feel like slamming the phone.. throw it out of the window so tt she gt no phone to sms with..so if ppl cant find this girl through her phone maybe she had jus shut her phone now n hide it somewhr so she wun c the phone..
nw the girl dun feel like gg bk hm at all.. facing her rm.. facing her dog.. it make her tink of thing..
whenever the girl was alone outside.. travelling her tears wld drop.. n whenever b4 she mit up wif her friend or before she step inside hm.. she wld hav to dry her tears make sure it didnt drop.. preparing to giv her smile once she mit up wif her friend.. preparing acting happy to c the dog when she step inside.. like she used to be like so tt her parent wun c her red eye..
the only place which can alow her to cry without ppl to c is her room which she dun feel like even stayin in nw.. but tts de only place whr she can cry freely ..
during her attachment she hope it faster end so tt she can went out play wif tt guy after 3 mth of working.. but nw.. she wish it hadnt end jus to occupied her mind even though sometime her tears wld still drop in the ward.. n she had to control..
n dwn when she went to certain places.. it will remind her of tings.. n she will start to tink of ting again..
the girl noe she got all her friend.. n noe her friend care for her.. trying their very best to make her happy.. make her forget.. the girl realli tried to make herself happy make herself smile.. but somehow some of the laughter r still fake.. the girl nw hate bday.. al those fake ting make her hate.. the girl is really thankful for what her friend did.. she realli tried to be happy.. but somehow.. she duno y.. she cant.. n she noe her friend cant be ard hr 24- 7..
every night b4 the girl slp.. she wld cry .. cry till her eyes feel so heavy n tired.. cry till her mind is empty .. so tt she could slp.. hoping she dun dream of wad she dream tt night.. (the begging n the ans keep repeating) so frightening.. shocking her up.. leaving the girl crying.. nw even without the dreams.. the girl still wake up frightened .. she dont know hw to spend her day for tt new day..
nwaday the girl arent eating lot.. she jus lost her appetite even if she feel hungry... but somehw she still eat a few spoonful.. jus cox tt she got gastric prob.. n she realli try to force herself to eat as much as she can but it somehw dun succeed..
the girl realli hope she could find someone whu could realli realli understand y she behave like tt .. y her temper lose so easily .. n she guess the person is verna.. she wish she could speak to her.. but somehw they arent tt close enough .. the girl noe she could understand her.. n she realli could understand y she is like tt.. she jus feel tt they r realli the same character..
this girl realli wan say thanks to this very very very gd n close guy friend.. tryin to acc her nw n then .. even when she wake him up frm his slp.. he din lose his temper.. n of cox she wanna thanks those who really acc her.. all her friends...
n ppl if u find this girl very abnormal as day pass by.. u tink tt she is goin to be something wrong.. please bring her to c a doc no matter hw she reject.. she has a very unstable emotion n mental state now.. she duno wad she might tink de next moment.
thanks lots..
* oINkz * ---- Friday, January 30, 2009 6:49 AM
<-- WelComE tO yAng n 