yest.. cheryl told herself.. SHE MUST BE STRONG!! CHERYL MUST TRY N BE STRONG.. THOUGH SHE CRY SOMETIME BUT CHERYL NID TO BE STRONG!.. n thr it is.. 1st say of cheryl wan be strong fail.. she miss him.. love him.. n nw cheryl told herself..!! CHERYL LET GO HE ISNT WORTH FOR U TO LOVE ANYMORE AFTER ALL TT WAS DONE .. hoping this false thought can make cheryl nt to miss...

so thr cheryl is.. wanting to be strong nw!.. tryin to be strong! n muz nt avoid to face him!.. miss is miss .. love is love but still friends shld cont.. in cheryl logic.. there is no such ting as once a lover.. cannot be friends anymore!.. it jus a matter of hw long cheryl take to let go..

anyway.. yest is realli the 1st day tt cheryl realli laugh.. realli enjoy realli have fun deep inside her.. ever since tt day..

went wif si to giv someting but i stay at the bus stop n bought a wallet for myself.. found nth to do so me n si went to find derrick.. intially i broke down again cryin cox of a stupid sentence of words..but nevertheless stupid derrick make me laugh.. n thr we were beginning our fight.. WAATAAAAAAA.. though the fight was realli crazy.. n a real fight.. wif him tickle me cox i keep peeping at his sms.. n keep reading out ting.. n in order to fight bk I PULL HIS PANTS!..but of cox it din drop n i close my eye when pulling ok..but i lose.. as usual.. he is too strong for me.. n i tink si realli laugh like hell to c us fight...one day cheryl should go n try train her muscle up n fight against him!!!.. WATAAAA... i swear i m gg to win u 1 day!!..

till nw de onli ting cheryl noe hw to make herself happy is fight wif him.. but von dun worry.. i noe u r scared of someting.. but to me we r realli realli close friend.. tts hw we fight ever since we know each other.. n of cox if i sense something is realli wrong.. i will told him i realli treat him as friend.. but i tink he wont de la.. we r great buddy buddy... n i read alot of his msg lo.. hee.. "darrrdarrrr"... opps i tink he is gg kill me if he c this... n von realli thanks.. i noe u r tryin to scold me n make me wake up to face reality..

n to derrick.. as if he will ever come here.. realli thanks lots.. i noe u r tryin to accompany me.. make me forget n make me laugh.. i noe u r nt so stingy over ur pillow.. but jus to make me laugh.. u r reali a gd friend!!!..

n of cox si.. realli thanks i also noe u tryin to accompany me.. oning ur hp for 24hr jus for me to find u no matter wad time i sudd break down... i love u babe..

n i noe guan is tryin to acc me ... by sudd keep appearing at ur gathering haha.. opps.. dun hit me..thanks

n to jl i noe she wan to acc by askin me out for dinner but i forget y i cant.. oh ya i nid b hm for renunion on wed.. tts y.. thanks lots...

i m so stupid sososo stupid the stupiest grl in this world.. after all tt was done after all tt was hurt.. i still hope for the return.. still hope to be dote on.. still wish for everyting tt happen in the past but i noe it wasnt possible. i'm jus stupid..

sometime i jus wish to bang my head on the wall n make myself forget... easier way of forgeting ting..

zhiwei call me tis morning n told me of a job.. wrapping flower for valentine day.. i nearly broke down.. cox this yr i will be alone.. ya flower.. true he will giv but nw to the other one.. i sure he will.. i noe too well.. but i told myself i should work to occupy my time n i shldnt avoid cing any of those ting again.. even places tt meant to be gd memory of me.. make me sad each time i c.. but i told myself i shldnt avoid.. but its so hard..

i duno hw to say out to my parent cox they sure tink is his fault.. n i dun wan .. my stomach hurt nw.. i guess i m too depress n stress up again.. it sososo pain...

suddenly feel like writing a story.. n here the story go:

4 yr ago.. there was this girl.. a cheerful friendly n happy-go-lucky girl.. it was then when sec school end she started her poly life.. she regreted her choosing of course.. her choosing of bond..

during her polylife she has difficulty coping her studies.. with all the stress n problem coming up in the 1st yr n sem of her exam.. 2 ppl quarreling over her.. friendship of tt 2 ppl nearly break.. she dont want that to happen n so she neglected her studies being unable to concentrate.. which although all her module pass but her GPA is jus 1.7 .. imagine hw poor it is..

over the yrs with the stress accumulated.. she change a diff person.. someone who is short-temper.. someone who is over-anxious.. someone whu lost her patient n temper easily.. without knowing y.. she tried to change but it jus come back..

this cause her to lost her guy one the 2nd day of chinese new yr..wif one sentence that simply hurt her right deep inside..(she is......., n i dont wan.....).. however she know tt her temper part of her reason but the reason behind is not only this.. one mth or shld say 1 mth plus ago.. this guy fallen with another girl.. giving her christmas card with love.. driving her hm (guess is the 1st ppl he drive when he got his liscence).. all this without the girl knowing though they r still tgt..

n this girl find herself being so stupid.. to keep begging for his return even she noe de other reason.. no matter hw de ans is no.. she still beg.. she still miss.. arent she stupid?

nw whenever the girl tink bk to christmas time.. the card tt the de guy give.. her bday celebration.. esp the bag tt she got all seem so fake.. the girl was soo stupid.. even when her friend sudden concern over her make her feel weird.. but she din think so much.. even when 3 wk ago b4 breakup.. the distance tt she feel btw them doesnt even make her suspicious.. she din tink much.. even when tt guy say driving wif his boy friend.. arent she so stupid to be so native..

intially the girl told herself she muz hate him.. in order to forget.. she told herself she reali muz hate him.. but after wad her friend told her tt hate make u even harder to forget.. she told herself she shld listen to her friend n dun hate tt guy..

however sometime the girl have the urge to msg the guy again.. whenever she hav this urge she realli feel like slamming the phone.. throw it out of the window so tt she gt no phone to sms with..so if ppl cant find this girl through her phone maybe she had jus shut her phone now n hide it somewhr so she wun c the phone..

nw the girl dun feel like gg bk hm at all.. facing her rm.. facing her dog.. it make her tink of thing..

whenever the girl was alone outside.. travelling her tears wld drop.. n whenever b4 she mit up wif her friend or before she step inside hm.. she wld hav to dry her tears make sure it didnt drop.. preparing to giv her smile once she mit up wif her friend.. preparing acting happy to c the dog when she step inside.. like she used to be like so tt her parent wun c her red eye..

the only place which can alow her to cry without ppl to c is her room which she dun feel like even stayin in nw.. but tts de only place whr she can cry freely ..

during her attachment she hope it faster end so tt she can went out play wif tt guy after 3 mth of working.. but nw.. she wish it hadnt end jus to occupied her mind even though sometime her tears wld still drop in the ward.. n she had to control..

n dwn when she went to certain places.. it will remind her of tings.. n she will start to tink of ting again..

the girl noe she got all her friend.. n noe her friend care for her.. trying their very best to make her happy.. make her forget.. the girl realli tried to make herself happy make herself smile.. but somehow some of the laughter r still fake.. the girl nw hate bday.. al those fake ting make her hate.. the girl is really thankful for what her friend did.. she realli tried to be happy.. but somehow.. she duno y.. she cant.. n she noe her friend cant be ard hr 24- 7..

every night b4 the girl slp.. she wld cry .. cry till her eyes feel so heavy n tired.. cry till her mind is empty .. so tt she could slp.. hoping she dun dream of wad she dream tt night.. (the begging n the ans keep repeating) so frightening.. shocking her up.. leaving the girl crying.. nw even without the dreams.. the girl still wake up frightened .. she dont know hw to spend her day for tt new day..

nwaday the girl arent eating lot.. she jus lost her appetite even if she feel hungry... but somehw she still eat a few spoonful.. jus cox tt she got gastric prob.. n she realli try to force herself to eat as much as she can but it somehw dun succeed..

the girl realli hope she could find someone whu could realli realli understand y she behave like tt .. y her temper lose so easily .. n she guess the person is verna.. she wish she could speak to her.. but somehw they arent tt close enough .. the girl noe she could understand her.. n she realli could understand y she is like tt.. she jus feel tt they r realli the same character..

this girl realli wan say thanks to this very very very gd n close guy friend.. tryin to acc her nw n then .. even when she wake him up frm his slp.. he din lose his temper.. n of cox she wanna thanks those who really acc her.. all her friends...

n ppl if u find this girl very abnormal as day pass by.. u tink tt she is goin to be something wrong.. please bring her to c a doc no matter hw she reject.. she has a very unstable emotion n mental state now.. she duno wad she might tink de next moment.

thanks lots..

my life is nw only left with mao mao n me.. i nv regret keeping her.. she realli make me smile but ever since yest.. whenever i saw her it make me cry it remind me of the time when we r wif her happily but i noe all tt happiness might be fake.. whether i m dead or alive is nt ur business anymore.. u r jus afraid tt i might be dead n u have to be responsible.. all tat word stung me.. right deep inside.. but it still better den an idiot being i the dark.. no matter my heart is still thr or dead.. no matter i still love or nt.. i told myself i should i should hate n nt feel sad.. i tell myself i should hate.. to make my heart die but its hard.. i regret begging like an idiot.. begging like a beggar for ur return after i noe the real truth.. true enough my temper might be part of the reason i admit i m wrong.. its all cox of the stress.. but nw de true reason is nt my temper..

u said jia u said dawn .. u said all that but u r jus de same.. one mth or shld i say one mth or more of lies.. one mth of using my trust .. christmas card wif heart.. fetching offwork once u get ur liscence.. its all nt on me.. ur lies.. mitting friend.. wif ur car.. but its nt.. i blieve ur lies n trusted u.. all those thing break my heart.. 3 yrs of relationship.. wif a word.. ur dream...................................................... u dont wan to lost the chance.. stung into my heart.. i told myself after all tt lies.. i shld let my heart dead but my heart somehw wun.. tinking bout the happy time.. i wan to hate.. i told myself i mux hate.. no matter wad i muz hate..

i hate time alone i hate it when my mind wonder.. several times my tears drip dwn in my ward when i'm working.. tryin so hard to hide my tears.. several times my tears drop when i'm infront of pt .. i try to wipe away hiding frm them.. several time my tears drop when i'm wif my family i try to wipe away n pretend to slp.. once i'm hm.. in my rm .. my tears scroll.. when i'm wif my friend i try to laugh to make myself happy to prevent my tears frm dripping.. acting happy is hard..

but somehow i wanna say thanks to derrick n si.. being there for me.. listening to me cry without sayin anyting.. n of cox jl lending me her shoulder..

my temper might be part of the reason.. duno my temper jus like tt.. i alway say i suspect i have depression but no one cares.. no one understand.. i m nt afraid of death nw.. i'm nt afraid of strking by lightning i m nt afraid of being knock dwn by a car... verna.. maybe one day we might go up to the heaven tgt.. aren;t we? ,..

feeling tired without slp last night.. wif pluffy eyes tt everyone in my ward ask me wad happen.. i guess tmr i will get the same question too...

hurhur as i said.. i will find one free day to post my bday thingy!.. so nw i m offically 21!! as they said aunty!!~~ haiii.. ok here it go..

hurhur mit up wif my poly friend on 1 of jan to celeb new yr n my bday as well.. got zhiwei fad xl evonne jingyi n jess..went to thai express n de menu sux okie.. haha.. i mean on tt day de menu.. haha although it was short n a boring on but i appreciate it alot!!!.. thanks girls.. but though to me .. i feel tt its kind of weird of someone.. haha better dun say out.. okie here is de list of present frm my girls:



a gift frm evoone.. a book n 2 pen haha.. i dun bear to use it n i duno can use to write wad also..



n this a bikini frm zhiwei at sheer romance.. but then i dun wear bikini also.. she gave me this n wanted me to wear haha..

n this is a gift frm fad n xiuling.. a very retarded toy.. as wad fad alway giv ppl.. n of cox my fav smurf t-shirt!! I LOVE THIS THE MOST!!!

n oh ya.. n a gift frm jingyi.. a portable hp charger.. but somehw IT DUN WORK ON MY HP I DONT KNOW Y!


ok now its time to go to my celeb frm my sec sch clique..on the 9th jan.. though the ppl whu attend is pathetic but well i expected it though.. cox.. as i said.. some won;t appreciate for the hardwork ppl do.. but somehw i still enjoy my day!..

went to k box buffet.. but din realli eat much.. n they tricked me wif this hunting game! but i noe i was stupid though having hard time tinking n finding the place..

n thanks ah jian.. for nt paying the 10buck when u say u r sharing the present n giv me this cd which u dun wan n i dun realli needed or like.. I APPRECIATE IT AH! jus being sarcastic.. make my poot top 10more dollar..

n thanks for those whu attend.. u all r those whu hav the most heart.. esp von.. come all the way dwn after her NAFA.. half dead.. n jia jus dropping by after her proj when she is tired.. n here is my photo for da day!!




n this is a card specially design by poot si n von? got si included nt huh haha.. i love it man n it is damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn bigggg.....



n this is a guess bag frm poot.. i choose it myself n it cost 179 .. sry poot!! i so guilty for choosing such a ex bag but i love it!!!.. i shall start use it only at cny..

n this bag frm my sec sch cliquie tgt wif the choco fodue. ohh choco foundue!!!!!!...havent start using it yet..


nTHIS IS A BDAY PRESENT FROM GUAN.. intialy is nt tis design.. but too small mao mao cant wear it.. so... i went to change to this design.. a gift for my bday but.. to mao mao.. haha thanks guan! i m alway sayin i wanna buy a clothes for her!!!


so thats wad i have got frm my sec sch clique. n nt forgetiing jia .. she say she bought me someting but i dun hav it yet so i cant post.. hee thanks for those whu plan for my bday.. esp si von n poot!!!.. if i m nt wrong they r the one planning.. n thanks for those whu attend my celeb!! love ya..!! n THANS FOR THE CD tt u dun wan.. WHICH I RATHER U DUN GIV IT TO ME N GIV MY POOT 10BUCK!!..



n the following is a gift frm my family.. :
this is de hp tt i have been alway curving for.. n so i ask frm my dad.. hee.. PINK HP!!!...

OFFICALLY 21!!!


haha awww.. i m nw 21 le.. i still hope i m 20 man.. ohhh.. hee.. shall update all my pic soon when i m free. so busy wif attachment nw.. hee shal post up soonnnnnnnnn

WeLcome!~
enJoy uR sTAy hEre

* chEryL
* 09/09/1988

*lub...
-> dar...
-> all mY fRiendsssssssss...
-> yAngyaNg n mEh mEh

*haTE...
-> lIar
-> bAcksTabbEr

*... mY fRiEnd tO b hAppy ...*
*... MysElF tO bE happy ...*
*... gT alOt $ bUy ting ...*
*... reSult gdgd ...*

...dAr...=D
...vOn...
...sI...
...hAlkAl...

*yAng chOng by yAng zHOng wEi*

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