well din mnage to online for de past 4 days... too sick.. yup.. n on mon my pract test.. i drag myself to sch ... n tt stupid practical test is at 630.. damn it.. n thr i suffering frm morning to 630 n hav my practical test.. one to one.. n i pass it miracle wif my gastric damn pain..

so thr i go hm n c doc.. but still pain for the next 2 day.. damn pain din slp well nor eat... n thr i pon sch for 2 days... haha... n finally yest.. thurs i went bk to sch..! but sure enough.. halfway in sch.. i had to force myself hm again cox de pain come again...

n tis time my mum drag me to SGH.. n hav x ray all tis.. haiz... 90buck gone... well it say i gana gastritis.. haha... n here i m today.. mc again frm sch hehehe... so add tgt.. can say nearly one whole wk no go sch.. after eatin medicine frm de hospital i felt better of cox.. haha...

n n n n n n ... i muz thz poot for acc me for de past few days when i m realli sick.. hope my crying din scared him off.. haha its damn pain though.. n 2 time he had to acc me take cab hm frm sch... thz lots my darling.. i lub euuuu.. haha muacks

ok guess i hav to go rest again.. feel sicky.. end here...

happy 19th bday...!~

*ah chew* ... *sniff..*sniff.. sick again haha.. duno too stress till sick or wad.. everytime either near exam or attachment confirm sick one.. 2yrs of poly life like tt le.. haha when i work will i b sick everyday? opps...

yest jus hav my test.. ok lo.. jus tt i m too drowsy n slpy n trying real hard to concentrate on my exam .. haha.. pon de first 2 lesson yest.. cox too drowsy le.. din manage to pull myself out of bed.. haha.. n drag myself to sch ... sian~...

today 8 lesson.. is lab nid 100% attendance so cant pon.. so drag myself to sch lo... haha... den slp all de way for 3 lect.. 3 hrs of slping hehe...

n nw i m getting drowsy n slpy again.. guess tonight is an early slp for me again..


oh ya.. n 1 of my poly friend c me sick.. buy a present for me .. n its so stupid haha.. a pokemon psyduck keychain.. though its kind of a stupid gift .. but it did touch me of her tinkin tt i m sick n buying me a present ask me get well... haha thanks fadhlina.. though its a stupid gift... i like it still =)

hai .. din hav a gd slp last night as all...

sick too... sob..

study till 12+ at night thr i lie till 3+ i m still awake so duno wad time slp.. well finally slp but tink all was occupied wif dreams haha muz b too stress le.. today sch frm 12 to 6 hai so late come hm still muz study... sniff.. sick le..

well sign n symptoms of depression which i jus learnt yest..

- percieve others as treating them negatively .. (sort of)
- percieve world as hopeless...(y)
-take little pleasure in life acitivities...(sort of)
-suffer guilt n self-blames...(y)
- lack of concentration ... (y)
- difficulty tinkin things through..(y)
-memory disturbance..(y)
- delusion...(y)
-recurrent tots of death or sucide...(y)
- extremed fatigue n decrease energy..(y)
-loss of pleasure in life activities...(sort of)
- loss of appeitete or increase appeitie...(n)
- feeling of worthlesness, guilt n inadequancy...(y)
- negativitely bout self worth...(y)
- difficulty falling aslp...(YES)
- waking up throughout night n difficulty falling slp...(YES)
-early morning awakening or slp too much...(YES)
-inability sit still...( in sch count? haha)
- feeling of restlessness..(y)
- slow response to ques...(n)
- weight gain or loss..(n)
- social withdrawal...(n)
- verbalisaton of feeling depress...(y)
-sucide attempted...(n)

hmm... i got yes for mostly all so m i having depression? haha... duno

awww... i jus miss cing my friends... esp dar.. hees.. miss miss

I JUS DUNO Y I HAVE SELFISH FRIENDS..

who onli tink of themselve.. haiz...


hai.. exam n project is making me nuts.. i cant take it anymore..

cant even afford to fail a module.. cox of tt stupid bond..

hai nw take it le.. regret also no use..

i m realli gg bonker over de stress...

real long hrs in sch make me dun even hav time to study..

i jus wish i can rest..

n slp without a single dreams..

everyting is push to me..
even derrick celeb which dawn wanna help him also ask me contact..
wad de fucking hell did i owe ppl in my past life..

I M HAVING EXAM N TONS OF SCH WORK..long hrs in sch also make me nut...

sry... guess i m real stress out n time is nt enough for me at all..

so stop askin me to do tis n tt ... i wan slp.. a real gd slp

holi holi faster come..nt the 2wks one..cox tt one also nid do lots of pro.. but de 1mth one... tts de onli day when i realli can take a rest...



sometime i jus wish tt my life could jus end nw.." like tt news of a student in my course.. wearing her uniform n jump dwn frm a building".. tis tots realli came to my head today..
but luckily i hav poot who try to comfort me cool me dwn .. making me laugh yest when i cry..
n jialing n si.. listening to my complain n b thr when i cry to them.. if nt i tink i m realli gone by nw...

haiz..

i m so tired.. n stress up...

i feel like collapsing soon..

due to last few days of long hrs in sch.. n after every long hr in sch.. i have to come hm n study..

but yet tings still to nv go into my brain..

din manage to slp well last night... dreaming bout exam .. on n off ive been waking up frm my dream s.. haiz... slp bk dream again... ahhh

guess i muz b realli stress...



oh ya.. yest after studying went to suntec...walk by n saw tang yu zhe thr.. hmm.. say truthly... cing his real person make me kind of disapointed.. cox he din appear to b as handsome as i tink.. n as handsome as he is on tv... i tot him to b real handsome.. but outcome in real person it make me quite disapoointed... but ok la his singing in live.. nt bad...

haha sry to say tt guan.. no offend.. but i still tink tv de him more handsome...

haiz getting slpy.. time to go study again in bout an hr times...

hai duno wad to say..

my feeling .. hmm..

quite happy in sch?

n night class sux.. duno y they ask a outside lecturer to teach us on new skill.. n de way she teach is i totally dun understand at all.. yawn.. haha to me its totally a waste of my time.. if nt i nid to hav 100% attendance .. i tink i wld pon sia... haha...

yawn ..

so tired nw..

zzzzzzz....

yawn

hee tmr 13 nov le.. but den hor sch end at 6 so can onli go for dinner..

slpy slpy me!....

happy birdday jian!!~

yest was jian bday n onli de few of us helpin to celeb.. so pathetic.. nevertheless i did hav some fun.. n luckily bing n derek came.. to make our environment so fun..

went for a pool for 1hr like tt.. den jian hav to go.. =.= .. haha n our von jus reach.. i bet she is gg to bash him up...

n we bought a small cake for him... hee.. n de cake is nice...

den de 5 of us go eat de 99c sushi.. n our princess von dun like de rice.. so she throw to bing to eat... poor bing.. muz tell bing dun eat.. so she will have to cut her tongue when she die.. (tts wad von told me..) haha regret tellin me le ba..

de eatin part was fun.. cox wif bing n derek along haha...

rating = 7/10 for de whole day..



ps: sry von for yest...



n oh well i've been hearing sound frm my living rm.. either its been someone open our hse door late in night at 11+ when every1 was slping.. or either its some toy car wheel turning sound where every1 is slpin... perhaps tt y my temper become worst cox of nt slpin well for dayssss...

gosh it scare de hell out of me ..

so i swear till myself yest.. I M GOIN TO CLOSE MY RM DOOR FRM YEST ONWARDS..

hai.. sometime realli wondering tings r unfair...

duno hw to say..

hmmm...

words at de beginning doesnt mean it realli is like...

n promises to each other doesnt realli show..

jus dun wan 2 b obvious...

hai..

i m jus disappointed..

duno wad to say...

chen xin chen yi but yet...

haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

i'm nt angry..

jus disappointmend..

n its real disappointing..

today end sch at 3pm.. so thr i go went to poot hse to visit him n his mum is at hm... SCARY..

hai jus realli duno wad is happening to me lately.. hai.. jus feel like cryin.. n i noe my temper is damn bad.. i wanna change.. but its seem hard.. nvm i shall try.. mayb too much ting i have to settle recently n it makes me fed up.. esp de guys....

JUS WAD IS HAPPENING TO ME..! I REALLI DUNO...

well guess thr is still happy time for me.. n tts when i m in sch ... guess i finally mix in life in poly.. yup...

sorry to those ppl whu i've throw my temper to recently..
jus duno y.. i cant control... hai....
sometime jus wish i'm gone...

real sorry...!~~~~

hai tink its de 2nd entry for de day..

i duno y... i jus control my temper hai... i wanna wanna wanna stop myself frm being so short temper... but i realli jus cant.. i get soo irritated n agitated so easy...

n whenever i m irritated.. i jus feel like cryin.. i cant stop myself.. jus study abnormal psychology n thr is tis illness.. wad.. duno wad disorder.. forget de name.. hai i m jus wondering m i suffering frm tt..

its so weird cox this sem i m nt stress of sch at all.. nt at all lo.. but i still feel so weird.. i jus duno hw to describe.. i noe i m gettin more n more short temper... easy to throw my temper ard.. but i dun wan to... i jus feel like cryin...

well.. today went imm wif papa mama n bought de e-donut n try thr.. okok lo.. i still prefer donut factory though.. tis donut nt realli nice n its so small lahz.. hmmm.. hai


*jus hope tt i m nt suffering frm tt mental illness..*...

went towning wif von n jia ling n jx.. n got lots of plastic bag hm now.. my god.. haha n we walk till we were so damn tired.. hehehe.. n night time game..

si came n went dinner n bought one last ting n we went hm..

didnt slp well last night.. hai.. i can onli slp well when i m sad n nw i feel so uneasy...

i miss all my friendss~!

i'm in a realli bad mood.. been cryin to slp for de past 2 night.. my eyes r tired.. i'm tired... sch is fun for me this 2 days at least thrs someone thr make me laugh.. its alway been my friend bring joy to me.. n tis 2 days ive tryin hard to make myself happy n i did.. yest i was quite happy but u make me sad.. hope today gong n von will make me smile...

i'm tired of life.. i'm so tired.. i feel like slping always..

tinkin shld i still cont...?
i dun wan dun wan anymore...


*lies n truth*.. so hard to believe...

well.. sch ends at 4 today.. haha tinkin of mitting dar but she went n meet han ahead haha its ok... so thr i go to novena wif fadhlina n jingyi... acc jingyi to c her shoe n fadhina mit her friend n 7... so thr we go loitering ard novena..

jingyi went off early.. n so left me n fad.. par toring.. haha n it was fun... me n her did a lame ting in de toilet today..!.. competing whu shh shh more faster.. n i win overall..!~ >.<

hmm tinks tts all happening today?

haiz... lies n truths.. i duno which to believe.. everytime a ting is told to me... my mind will jus generate n tinkin is it truth or lies.. even if its de truth.. it will still phsyco me n make me tink tt its a lie.. i realli duno wad to blieve n wad to nt... i'm tired... frm nw on.. everyting is a lies to me...

I HATE LIAR!~...

i m in such a bad mood.. a mood tt i feel so dwn ... many promise were make but wasnt fufil... lies again n again... wonder is thr any more i didnt manage to noe? dun wish to talk to any1 wad happen but somehw i wish someone can make me smile..

n nw i m so fed up with collectin of $.. i simply hate to take $ frm guys.. takin their $ is jus so simply like taking their PRECIOUS LITTLE TING!... wasting my sms over n over again n yet.. i din recieve it at all..

fed up wif de money.. n sad over lies told again.. i feel like cryin..

whu can help me wif de present ting? i dun feel like settling it anymore..
plz.. giv me time to rest...

can liars make themself dun tell lie?

WeLcome!~
enJoy uR sTAy hEre

* chEryL
* 09/09/1988

*lub...
-> dar...
-> all mY fRiendsssssssss...
-> yAngyaNg n mEh mEh

*haTE...
-> lIar
-> bAcksTabbEr

*... mY fRiEnd tO b hAppy ...*
*... MysElF tO bE happy ...*
*... gT alOt $ bUy ting ...*
*... reSult gdgd ...*

...dAr...=D
...vOn...
...sI...
...hAlkAl...

*yAng chOng by yAng zHOng wEi*

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