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jus duno wad is happening to me recently.. i felt realli depressed.. jus feel like cryin all along.. ever since poly i've nv been happy bfore.. nv... recently i feel as in realli feeling of dieing.. death jus occur in my mind.. when i study in my rm.. i jus simply stare at the penknive.. playin wif it.. n whenever i tot of tis i will jus leave my rm n sit in de living rm... tink i m realli on de route to depression.. i noe i have ben bringing trouble to everyone... but jus duno y.. my mind keep on askin to do tis n tat.. like someone controlling it..
sometime jus had de feeliin of loliness.. i noe i m nt.. cox i still hav my sec schs.. they r wif me.. but i jus duno y my mind keep tinkin bout tt.. tats y i keep callin ppl to chat i guess.... now.. i have set a goal n tat is to find back de past me during sec life.. intendin to achieve tis goal durin holiday.. realli wif the help frm all my friends..i cant do it alone..but duno can nt.. cox its realli hard.. esp when something is like controlling me.. i jus feel like a nuts... crazy... i maybe be happy tis moment.. n maybe be sad de next.. i may be happy today but depress de followin dayz.. so i tell myself i have to find back myself..
today paper sux.. flung again i guess.. if realli pass tat is realli a miracle.. jus wonderin y muz i cont my sch when i m nt happy in sch... esp wif that TJY.. i try to be nice.. try to take de effort.. but in de end if tat is wad i get den forget it.. i c the true colour of u.. ever since u join us.. dayz in sch is even bad... n i m even unhappier... i jus hate sch.. how i wish.. de 3 yrs will pass by fast.. i jus duno y.. m i so suay to be de same as u in everythin!.. cing u bad me feel like slapping u.. u make me even unhappier.. tink bout of it tt i dun feel like goin sch is cox of u..
tink de onli ways to find back myself is after my attachment bahz.. but i m so scared when sch reopen.. everything went back de same again....
* oINkz * ---- Sunday, August 20, 2006 10:38 PM
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<-- WelComE tO yAng n 