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haIx.. hope i m not suffering from depression.. duno y.. i sudd have tis scared scared feel.. scared of sch? scared of exam? scared of being alone? scared of this.. scared of that.. i also duno wad i m scared of.. i jus feel like cryin n cryin for no reason.. even yest.. when i m play badminton.. i jus had a sudden feeling of scared... all of a sudden.. even wif guan around me.. hold back my tears say i cannot cry.. duno y i jus scared... maybe scared of exam n being alone..??call si yest.. n cry infront of her tink she got shock.. haha.. i duno y.. i jus hope someone can talk to me.. so i find her.. cox tink de other nt hm yet.. when we hung up i become better abit.. onli tat little bit.. but i m realli glad to have my friendsssss... they cheer me up often...thz lotz.. i feel better letting it out..cox it has been in my heart for bout a month.. i always try to make myself smile..laugh..but its onli for the time-being...den my darlin call me.. nt long after i hung up wif si.. of cox i cry again.. jus tinkin wad the hell m i scared of.. he acc me all along.. till his mum scold.. thz lotz.. i m realli happy to have u ard wif me.. n i realli feel the care all of them..my friend show me... thz si n darling for ur comfort.. went to sleep early yest.. tink too tired after all tat crying.. when i reach hm all the way till i sleep.. jus tinkin wad i m scared of.. hw i wish i can find out.. so tat i can solve it.. scared of lonliness??.. or worry tat friends will tink tt when i have my fat cow.. i will them..?? tats y i've been trying to make sure tt i make time for the both of them.. to me.. both friends n cow is impt.. veri impt.. tink i m too stupid to tink bout tis.. or m i worry about exam..??? hw i hope i can find out the truth...sometime.. i jus wish that i could fall asleep without waking up forever... but every morning.. i still wake up.. tink i shld jus focus on my studies now first.. n try to throw all the feeling away.. but i jus cant stop havin the feeling.. tink i've been tinkin too much n stressing myself.. i will try n overcome it.. cox i wan the 'me' in my sec sch n work life... n throw away the 'me' when i started goin poly.. i wan to be the happy me again.. trying to search it back..
* oINkz * ---- Tuesday, August 01, 2006 6:15 AM
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<-- WelComE tO yAng n 